Metamorphosis

Lately my body has been speaking to me in a new language. This is another epiphany, reality once more catching me unawares. How is it that this knowledge comes to me by revelation? If it was woven into the collective warp and weave, I have not felt its warmth. If it was there in the Grandmother silence, I did not hear the soundless message. And so I have come to it alone, and in my own time.

My bones are moving. Why am I noticing this only now, when they have almost reached the surface layer of skin? An unseen exoskeleton of me is breaking through, emerging as the years shed the familiar.

My body sings. It tells me the secret of my pulsing blood and the rushing air in my lungs. And now I know that it is an old song, and that I love it.

More do I understand the mystery that this life, my life, is, just is.

I wrote a poem about it.

Metamorphosis

The days keep company,
the years of yore unbending.
Time’s fled, sweet history,
now grain by grain descending.

You cannot keep me here,
oh weary world of other.
The wind waits patiently,
the sky, the earth, the mother.

Fire, to embers glow,
the fuel of life expending.
Another light is near,
the beckoning unending.

You cannot keep me here,
o’ weary world of other.
The wind waits patiently,
the sky, the earth, the mother.

January 11, 2014, © Maggie Turner

Worldly Distractions

Weather

5°C
Date: 4:08 PM EST Saturday 11 January 2014
Condition: Light Rain
Pressure: 98.8 kPa
Visibility: 11 km
Temperature: 4.5°C
Dewpoint: 4.2°C
Humidity: 98%
Wind: WSW 15 km/h

Quote

“I find nothing more depressing than optimism.”
Paul Fussell

[Optimism/Pessimism – a bipolar approach to philosophy.]

Barometric Pressures

Barometric Pressures – Maggie Turner

Atmospheric change,
the quality of the air, the sky,
and sound have shifted.
I feel new energy,
strange and electric,
with every intake of breath.
And deep within,
there is a loss,
a sudden empty cavern,
waiting on each breath.
So it is,
after time divides.

Sarah Tryon Smith passed away over the past weekend. We met somewhere in electric charges, the bipolar world of on or off, bits and bytes. My eyes never beheld her form, her smile, the way she held her coffee cup, or enjoyed her morning walks. My ears never heard her voice. For all of that, the strength of her passions, the depth of her kindness, her mind, her soul, found their way into my life, soft tendrils that took root and have made a difference. For that I thank her.

Her blog, Rhubarb, can be found here: http://www.journalscape.com/rhubarb/

Quaker’s Mile, 2010, MS Ryan
Quakersmile ryan

Worldly Distractions

Weather

15°C
Date: 7:33 AM EDT Wednesday 21 August 2013
Condition: Mist
Pressure: 102.0 kPa
Visibility: 2 km
Temperature: 15.2°C
Dewpoint: 14.7°C
Humidity: 97%
Wind: SE 4 km/h

Quote

“I Sing the Body Electric

1
I sing the body electric,
The armies of those I love engirth me and I engirth them,
They will not let me off till I go with them, respond to them,
And discorrupt them, and charge them full with the charge of the soul.

Was it doubted that those who corrupt their own bodies conceal themselves?
And if those who defile the living are as bad as they who defile the dead?
And if the body does not do fully as much as the soul?
And if the body were not the soul, what is the soul?

2
The love of the body of man or woman balks account, the body itself balks account,
That of the male is perfect, and that of the female is perfect.

The expression of the face balks account,
But the expression of a well-made man appears not only in his face,
It is in his limbs and joints also, it is curiously in the joints of his hips and wrists,
It is in his walk, the carriage of his neck, the flex of his waist and knees, dress does not hide him,
The strong sweet quality he has strikes through the cotton and broadcloth,
To see him pass conveys as much as the best poem, perhaps more,
You linger to see his back, and the back of his neck and shoulder-side.

The sprawl and fulness of babes, the bosoms and heads of women, the folds of their dress, their style as we pass in the street, the contour of their shape downwards,
The swimmer naked in the swimming-bath, seen as he swims through the transparent green-shine, or lies with his face up and rolls silently to and fro in the heave of the water,
The bending forward and backward of rowers in row-boats, the horseman in his saddle,
Girls, mothers, house-keepers, in all their performances,
The group of laborers seated at noon-time with their open dinner-kettles, and their wives waiting,
The female soothing a child, the farmer’s daughter in the garden or cow-yard,
The young fellow hoeing corn, the sleigh-driver driving his six horses through the crowd,
The wrestle of wrestlers, two apprentice-boys, quite grown, lusty, good-natured, native-born, out on the vacant lot at sun-down after work,
The coats and caps thrown down, the embrace of love and resistance,
The upper-hold and under-hold, the hair rumpled over and blinding the eyes;
The march of firemen in their own costumes, the play of masculine muscle through clean-setting trowsers and waist-straps,
The slow return from the fire, the pause when the bell strikes suddenly again, and the listening on the alert,
The natural, perfect, varied attitudes, the bent head, the curv’d neck and the counting;
Such-like I love—I loosen myself, pass freely, am at the mother’s breast with the little child,
Swim with the swimmers, wrestle with wrestlers, march in line with the firemen, and pause, listen, count.

3
I knew a man, a common farmer, the father of five sons,
And in them the fathers of sons, and in them the fathers of sons.

This man was of wonderful vigor, calmness, beauty of person,
The shape of his head, the pale yellow and white of his hair and beard, the immeasurable meaning of his black eyes, the richness and breadth of his manners,
These I used to go and visit him to see, he was wise also,
He was six feet tall, he was over eighty years old, his sons were massive, clean, bearded, tan-faced, handsome,
They and his daughters loved him, all who saw him loved him,
They did not love him by allowance, they loved him with personal love,
He drank water only, the blood show’d like scarlet through the clear-brown skin of his face,
He was a frequent gunner and fisher, he sail’d his boat himself, he had a fine one presented to him by a ship-joiner, he had fowling-pieces presented to him by men that loved him,
When he went with his five sons and many grand-sons to hunt or fish, you would pick him out as the most beautiful and vigorous of the gang,
You would wish long and long to be with him, you would wish to sit by him in the boat that you and he might touch each other.

4
I have perceiv’d that to be with those I like is enough,
To stop in company with the rest at evening is enough,
To be surrounded by beautiful, curious, breathing, laughing flesh is enough,
To pass among them or touch any one, or rest my arm ever so lightly round his or her neck for a moment, what is this then?
I do not ask any more delight, I swim in it as in a sea.

There is something in staying close to men and women and looking on them, and in the contact and odor of them, that pleases the soul well,
All things please the soul, but these please the soul well.

5
This is the female form,
A divine nimbus exhales from it from head to foot,
It attracts with fierce undeniable attraction,
I am drawn by its breath as if I were no more than a helpless vapor, all falls aside but myself and it,
Books, art, religion, time, the visible and solid earth, and what was expected of heaven or fear’d of hell, are now consumed,
Mad filaments, ungovernable shoots play out of it, the response likewise ungovernable,
Hair, bosom, hips, bend of legs, negligent falling hands all diffused, mine too diffused,
Ebb stung by the flow and flow stung by the ebb, love-flesh swelling and deliciously aching,
Limitless limpid jets of love hot and enormous, quivering jelly of love, white-blow and delirious juice,
Bridegroom night of love working surely and softly into the prostrate dawn,
Undulating into the willing and yielding day,
Lost in the cleave of the clasping and sweet-flesh’d day.

This the nucleus—after the child is born of woman, man is born of woman,
This the bath of birth, this the merge of small and large, and the outlet again.

Be not ashamed women, your privilege encloses the rest, and is the exit of the rest,
You are the gates of the body, and you are the gates of the soul.

The female contains all qualities and tempers them,
She is in her place and moves with perfect balance,
She is all things duly veil’d, she is both passive and active,
She is to conceive daughters as well as sons, and sons as well as daughters.

As I see my soul reflected in Nature,
As I see through a mist, One with inexpressible completeness, sanity, beauty,
See the bent head and arms folded over the breast, the Female I see.

6
The male is not less the soul nor more, he too is in his place,
He too is all qualities, he is action and power,
The flush of the known universe is in him,
Scorn becomes him well, and appetite and defiance become him well,
The wildest largest passions, bliss that is utmost, sorrow that is utmost become him well, pride is for him,
The full-spread pride of man is calming and excellent to the soul,
Knowledge becomes him, he likes it always, he brings every thing to the test of himself,
Whatever the survey, whatever the sea and the sail he strikes soundings at last only here,
(Where else does he strike soundings except here?)

The man’s body is sacred and the woman’s body is sacred,
No matter who it is, it is sacred—is it the meanest one in the laborers’ gang?
Is it one of the dull-faced immigrants just landed on the wharf?
Each belongs here or anywhere just as much as the well-off, just as much as you,
Each has his or her place in the procession.

(All is a procession,
The universe is a procession with measured and perfect motion.)

Do you know so much yourself that you call the meanest ignorant?
Do you suppose you have a right to a good sight, and he or she has no right to a sight?
Do you think matter has cohered together from its diffuse float, and the soil is on the surface, and water runs and vegetation sprouts,
For you only, and not for him and her?

7
A man’s body at auction,
(For before the war I often go to the slave-mart and watch the sale,)
I help the auctioneer, the sloven does not half know his business.

Gentlemen look on this wonder,
Whatever the bids of the bidders they cannot be high enough for it,
For it the globe lay preparing quintillions of years without one animal or plant,
For it the revolving cycles truly and steadily roll’d.

In this head the all-baffling brain,
In it and below it the makings of heroes.

Examine these limbs, red, black, or white, they are cunning in tendon and nerve,
They shall be stript that you may see them.

Exquisite senses, life-lit eyes, pluck, volition,
Flakes of breast-muscle, pliant backbone and neck, flesh not flabby, good-sized arms and legs,
And wonders within there yet.

Within there runs blood,
The same old blood! the same red-running blood!
There swells and jets a heart, there all passions, desires, reachings, aspirations,
(Do you think they are not there because they are not express’d in parlors and lecture-rooms?)

This is not only one man, this the father of those who shall be fathers in their turns,
In him the start of populous states and rich republics,
Of him countless immortal lives with countless embodiments and enjoyments.

How do you know who shall come from the offspring of his offspring through the centuries?
(Who might you find you have come from yourself, if you could trace back through the centuries?)

8
A woman’s body at auction,
She too is not only herself, she is the teeming mother of mothers,
She is the bearer of them that shall grow and be mates to the mothers.

Have you ever loved the body of a woman?
Have you ever loved the body of a man?
Do you not see that these are exactly the same to all in all nations and times all over the earth?

If any thing is sacred the human body is sacred,
And the glory and sweet of a man is the token of manhood untainted,
And in man or woman a clean, strong, firm-fibred body, is more beautiful than the most beautiful face.

Have you seen the fool that corrupted his own live body? or the fool that corrupted her own live body?
For they do not conceal themselves, and cannot conceal themselves.

9
O my body! I dare not desert the likes of you in other men and women, nor the likes of the parts of you,
I believe the likes of you are to stand or fall with the likes of the soul, (and that they are the soul,)
I believe the likes of you shall stand or fall with my poems, and that they are my poems,
Man’s, woman’s, child’s, youth’s, wife’s, husband’s, mother’s, father’s, young man’s, young woman’s poems,
Head, neck, hair, ears, drop and tympan of the ears,
Eyes, eye-fringes, iris of the eye, eyebrows, and the waking or sleeping of the lids,
Mouth, tongue, lips, teeth, roof of the mouth, jaws, and the jaw-hinges,
Nose, nostrils of the nose, and the partition,
Cheeks, temples, forehead, chin, throat, back of the neck, neck-slue,
Strong shoulders, manly beard, scapula, hind-shoulders, and the ample side-round of the chest,
Upper-arm, armpit, elbow-socket, lower-arm, arm-sinews, arm-bones,
Wrist and wrist-joints, hand, palm, knuckles, thumb, forefinger, finger-joints, finger-nails,
Broad breast-front, curling hair of the breast, breast-bone, breast-side,
Ribs, belly, backbone, joints of the backbone,
Hips, hip-sockets, hip-strength, inward and outward round, man-balls, man-root,
Strong set of thighs, well carrying the trunk above,
Leg fibres, knee, knee-pan, upper-leg, under-leg,
Ankles, instep, foot-ball, toes, toe-joints, the heel;
All attitudes, all the shapeliness, all the belongings of my or your body or of any one’s body, male or female,
The lung-sponges, the stomach-sac, the bowels sweet and clean,
The brain in its folds inside the skull-frame,
Sympathies, heart-valves, palate-valves, sexuality, maternity,
Womanhood, and all that is a woman, and the man that comes from woman,
The womb, the teats, nipples, breast-milk, tears, laughter, weeping, love-looks, love-perturbations and risings,
The voice, articulation, language, whispering, shouting aloud,
Food, drink, pulse, digestion, sweat, sleep, walking, swimming,
Poise on the hips, leaping, reclining, embracing, arm-curving and tightening,
The continual changes of the flex of the mouth, and around the eyes,
The skin, the sunburnt shade, freckles, hair,
The curious sympathy one feels when feeling with the hand the naked meat of the body,
The circling rivers the breath, and breathing it in and out,
The beauty of the waist, and thence of the hips, and thence downward toward the knees,
The thin red jellies within you or within me, the bones and the marrow in the bones,
The exquisite realization of health;
O I say these are not the parts and poems of the body only, but of the soul,
O I say now these are the soul!”
Walt Whitman
1819-1892

A Remembrance Day Poem 2012

Remembrance Day 2012

War
by Maggie Turner

The only war I know
is where I live and my children grow
is in my house
and down the street
in office buildings
where the powerful meet.

This war ‘s not fought with guns per se
it’s invisible in the day-to-day
the bruises hidden
the despair masked
from professional predators
with careers made fast.

This war’s on integrity
honesty, truth,
the bullying school yard
the media proof,
the smirking sly smiles,
of ambition’s glass roof.

This is the only war I know,
what weapons will win it
what vision will show
that the war in our midst
is the one that will grow

It spreads from the hearts
of the greedy and small
engulfs the stout hearted
fells those who stand tall.

Look to your small life
keep kindness in sight
recognize your compatriots
and target the fight
on the heights of rapacity
and the glamour of might.

[a work in progress, wrote it this morning, good to be writing poetry again]

Change of Scene

Snow all around us, coming down, blowing across, whipping up occasionally. It is so mild that great loads of snow plummet two stories to land with a great whumph!, as they slide from the metal roof. A good day to sit safe indoors. Which I have been doing a bit too much of lately, sitting that is. This will change as of next week, when I work almost every day until the beginning of April. A blessing to be working, and good exercise to boot.

This afternoon Attila helped me move my desk. The monitor faced the sliding glass doors and the daytime glare was significant. I sat with my back to the door. Now I am facing the windows and the monitor is facing the wall; much better. The arrangement also facilitates watching Netflix on the computer, as the easy chairs are setup up perfectly to view the monitor. We are trying Netflix, and have enjoyed it. The first high-speed bill reflecting our use of Netflix will determine if we continue to use the service.

Caitrìona called this morning from Florida, she is coming home next week. She has had a nice time, and would rather stay a few weeks more but the arrangements didn’t work out as she had hoped. Our gain, their loss.

Friday and Saturday were a little rough. Everyone I came into contact with was feeling a bit out of sorts. Also, I found myself on the silent end of social media, which I hadn’t experienced before, because I never invested any time or interest in social media before. I’m still feeling my way around in places like Twitter and Facebook, it isn’t always a warm fuzzy place. Lots of people I don’t know and never heard of, buzzing around making friends with each other. Facebook seems like a busy downtown street, where you can sit unnoticed for hours watching people pass by.

Attila and I have been doing the lets-stay-in-our-cave thing. Two fires thus far today have warmed the living space, Mist is a happy cat. The new desk location affords a fantastic view of white dusted pine trees and snow slowly drifting out of the sky. Moving the desk was a great idea; small change, big difference.

I am considering writing an ode to cabin fever.

Weather

-3 °C
Condition: Cloudy
Pressure: 101.3 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: -3.0°C
Dewpoint: -4.9°C
Humidity: 87 %
Wind: S 11 km/h
Wind Chill: -7

Quote

“I prefer the company of peasants because they have not been educated sufficiently to reason incorrectly.”
Michel de Montaigne
1533 – 1592

 

WORDS: a poem

Early morning, just after first light, is the most delightful time of day. This morning it is -22C, and yet the maple tree growing just outside my window, that stands tall in the sun, dares tips of budding red. Its branches reach towards the light knowingly. Spring will come.

I am feeling rather fine this morning. The bills are paid, all the little ones and all the big ones too; for now. I am happy, for now. Thoughts can wander elsewhere in this haven of enough for now.

Playing around with rhythms and words; a poem emerged. Inspiration came from a spotlight article on etsy that was posted by a musician, an acquaintance on Facebook.

The clock says it is just past nine a.m. and it has already been a busy morning; I haven’t moved from my chair since breakfast.

WORDS by Maggie Turner, 2011

time
detail
discipline
devise

heart
insight
clarity
combine

ignite
entertain
delight
art

Worldly Distractions

Weather

-22 °C
Condition: Clear
Pressure: 103.1 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: -22.0°C
Dewpoint: -24.0°C
Humidity: 84 %
Wind: calm

Quote

“We have to fight them daily, like fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for they sap our energies.”
Etty Hillesum
1914 – 1943