I am humbled. Tai Chi is hard! I learned the first three moves, sort of, and then zoned out on the subsequent moves. Two challenges, overcoming my self-consciousness about my arm, which was the object of some curiosity by the instructors, which was not verbalized, and some curiosity by other participants, again not verbalized. This is my issue, this self-consciousness about a visible difference, there is no intolerance at the class. The other challenge is my knee, one of the moves hurts, at least the way I was doing it hurt. The lesson moved too fast for me to concentrate on how to perform the move without hurting my knee, so that was when I lost concentration on learning. I will have to go slowly, and focus on protecting my knee, above following the moves. I am determined to attend regularly, and to focus on doing my pain free best. I feel that eventually I will become comfortable with exposing the way my arm functions, in a group, no one really cares about it but me, and comfortable with slowing myself down to do only what I can do comfortably, without risking injury to my bad knee.

I think Tai Chi is a go for me. The group is pleasant, friendly, and large enough that the small cliques of familiars do not dominate the context. Most people seem to be there as individuals.

Luckily the skies were clear, and the roads bare, for my journey. It is quite an evening out, one hour to drive there, two hours at the class, then one hour to drive home, a four hour adventure. It was getting dark when I started out, it was pitch black as I returned home. It will be interesting to see how the light changes during my travels back and forth to the class.

For now, I think, my activity schedule is full enough. I need some time for the people, times, and places of these activities to become familiar. Although I will push myself to enter into new and unfamiliar social settings, it isn’t something I enjoy. I will let the dust settle on these all-new activities before considering extending my reach. I have meditation and Tai Chi, and the women’s group… and once I am more emotionally balanced I will return to the group where I cried, and see how I feel about it. All of these activities are an hour’s journey by highway, one way. At this point in my life, this is a viable situation, at least when the weather is reasonable and the roads are clear, which is much of the time.

It is becoming obvious to me that the extreme isolation, that I experienced while living at the country house, has had a quite an effect on how I feel about social situations, and not in a good way. I have work to do here!

After I arrived home last night, sitting in my easy chair relaxing, I detected a burning smell. Attila smelled it too. We went through the house, looking at everything that was plugged into an electrical outlet, investigated the refrigerator, the range, everything we could think of that involved electricity. I felt the smell was coming from the heating duct work, so Attila checked the furnace, and sure enough, something was awry with the furnace.

Attila turned off the heat. I made a telephone call to Lares, who is an HVAC person, and he talked Attila through a quick fix. That was at 11:00 p.m. last night. At 3:30 a.m. there was a definite problem with the furnace, the sound it was making was worrying. Attila got up and turned off the heat, then went back to bed. Thinking he had taken care of the issue, I went back to sleep. When I awoke at 4:30 the house had chilled to 16C and falling. When Attila arose he headed to the basement to try again, no joy. I sent a message to Lares, unwilling to telephone him at such an early hour, to let him know we were without heat. About fifteen minutes before he had to leave for work, Attila got the furnace running again. He found our two small electric heaters, and showed me how to shut down the furnace in case it malfunctioned again.

AT 7:00 a.m. the furnace was still functioning, but by 7:05 a.m. it was malfunctioning again, so I had to shut it down. Lares wrote a message to say he would drop in here on his way to work, which he did, and in about 30 minutes he had the furnace up and running! What a relief!

The plow went by and dumped a huge load of snow at the end of the driveway, about 20 minutes before Lares arrived. I was out there with my shovel, and I got it cleaned up so that Lares could park comfortably. I am a little sore now! Time for a little rest and an anti-inflammatory.

I wonder what else this day will bring!

Worldly Distractions


Date: 5:00 AM EST Tuesday 30 January 2018
Condition: Not observed
Pressure: 101.9 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: -9.6°C
Dew point: -11.8°C
Humidity: 84%
Wind: N 20 gust 30 km/h
Wind Chill: -17


Watch your thoughts, they become words.
Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.


Today I have errands to run at the bank. I need loonies for parking in the city, every time I go to the walk-in clinic I have to pay for parking, and I will need to pay for parking when I go for my CT scan. I need to figure out how to get to the hospital where the CT scan will be done, and find out about the parking there as well. Parking in the city is my ongoing discomfort, I don’t like it. Tank is huge, and is too tall for parking garages, so alternatives must be explored. There are times when I switch vehicles with Attila so that I can use the enclosed parking towers, but I like to find alternatives if possible, and leave the car to Attila, who has it all setup to accommodate his work routines.

I also need money from the bank to pay for activities. Activities cost money. After paying a membership fee, and then for the whole series of yoga classes which were a poor fit, I am reticent to invest in any other activity right now that requires me to pay membership fees and prepay for an entire series of classes. I will run out of funds quickly if I buy memberships from all the different organizations that require them to try out their activities. I am looking at pay-as-you-go activities, where I can attend without making a financial commitment, just in case it isn’t a good fit. This narrows the field somewhat, but until I have exhausted all pay-as-you-go options, I won’t be paying any more general membership fees.

The construction of the rental units at the end of our dead end street began today. A huge transport truck, with a huge digger on the flatbed, backed down the street today and dropped off the digger. Soon they will begin tearing up the forest and wetland, dump truck after dump truck will arrive and leave with during the week, and then when they get the foundations in, the pounding and sawing will begin. It will be a noisy summer with an exponentially increased traffic load on our street. I will just have to get used to it, and I will. There isn’t much vacant land around here after this development, so this should be the last of the new complexes going in near Mist Cottage.

This evening I am attending the meditation class in the city for the second time, and afterwards Attila and I have arranged to attend a music event together. A very big night out for me. Both venues are now somewhat familiar, which allows me to enjoy them more easily. I now have two relatively comfortable, affordable activities that I can attend weekly. Four weeks ago I had none.

Worldly Distractions


Date: 1:00 PM EST Tuesday 23 January 2018
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 99.8 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: 2.9°C
Dew point: 2.1°C
Humidity: 95%
Wind: SSW 16 km/h
Visibility: 13 km


“The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of.”
Blaise Pascal
1623 – 1662