Fallacious Assumptions

Facebook

Every so often I run into what I consider to be negative energy on Facebook. Today that happened. After expressing a viewpoint, a conceptual viewpoint, I was attacked with a form of character assassination, and the statement that “you won’t change my mind”. As if! There is little to be gained in interacting with someone who will use these tactics to “win”. Discussions are not about winning, from my perspective, they are an etherial dance of creativity. This person was clearly not on the same page. I seldom, almost never, do this, but I blocked him. He won’t miss me, he only wanted to speak with those who agreed with him. Fair enough, it is his timeline, it is his call. I bowed out quietly, not responding to his insults. Maybe someday he will mellow, but I will never know, and I already do not care.

Last night I stripped the smooth and deliciously cool cotton sheets off the bed, and replaced them with flannelette sheets. Before doing that, a padded cover was put over the mattress. The mattress cover holds body heat in from below, and it makes a big difference. The flannelette sheets are warmer to the touch during the night. The bedroom was cool, almost cold last night, perfect, and I was as warm as toast.

It has been raining all day long! At least it is above freezing out there, and the breeze is insignificant. Attila will be cold and wet after having worked out of doors all day long. He is looking forward to yet another turkey dinner!

This morning, after Attila left for work, I decided that biscuits for breakfast were in order. Out came the mixing bowel and spoon, measuring cup and spatula. It was the right decision. Hot, “buttery” biscuits with a dab of jelly, and a big glass of cold milk, are a fantastic start to the day.

Since our Grandbabies were born just over eight years ago, we have only been able to buy birthday and Christmas gifts of the most modest proportions. The children have not suffered for this. Our colourful, easily breakable, cheap gifts from the discount stores were a big hit when opened, soon broken, easily removed from the clutter of daily life. This year we indulged ourselves, for the very first time. Attila and I poured over web page after web page, looking at toys, discussing each child’s strengths, interests, needs, preferences. It was SO MUCH FUN. So we spent our entire Christmas budget on one toy for each of the Grandbabies. That isn’t saying a lot of course, our entire Christmas budget doesn’t add up to much. It makes us happy though.

We chose a gift for each child that required them to interact with either Luna or Janus, or both parents. The gifts are about doing things together, neat things, fun things, magical things. We hope they enjoy these things together, the Grandbabies and Luna and Janus!

How time passes so quickly on a dull, eventless day, is difficult to determine. That is what time did, passed quickly, slipping past and well out of grasp.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

9°C
Date: 3:13 PM EST Tuesday 4 November 2014
Condition: Light Rain
Pressure: 100.9 kPa
Visibility: 6 km
Temperature: 8.6°C
Dewpoint: 8.0°C
Humidity: 96%
Wind: S 15 km/h

Quote

“It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
Krishnamurti

11 Comments

  1. I’m sorry you went through that with your FB personality. I’ve been on the internet for some 21 years now, so I’m well acquainted with “trolls” and other beings that are unwilling to join in well-meaning discussions on various topics. I’ve never thought of discussions exactly as ‘etherial dances of creativity’ but I do see them as enriching exchanges where sometimes parties to the discussion may have to agree to disagree. (I do admit, though, that if I believe it to simply be a misunderstanding that I do work hard to correct the misunderstanding. However, once it becomes clear that there is no misunderstanding but a disagreement where the other person simply refuses to let me have my own opinion, though I welcome their having their opinion – well, I too walk away from such conflicts.)

    We put on our flannel-like winter sheets last week. Nothing like getting into bed and having your feet feel immediately warm!

    We’re also at a point where we’ll be able to give a bit better presents than in previous years. DH has always had his work put money aside in savings bonds for Christmas presents but this is the first year we’ll be able to use our own money in combination with that in order to buy presents.

  2. One form of misleading discourse involves presupposing and implying something without stating it explicitly, by phrasing it as a question. For example, the question “Does Mr. Jones have a brother in the army?” does not claim that he does, but implies that there must be at least some indication that he does, or the question would not need to be asked.[2] The person asking the question is thus protected from accusations of making false claims, but still manages to make the implication in the form of a hidden compound question.

    For the record, I don’t see fallacious questions as necessarily sad or attacking or violent. I think it all depends on the intent of the user and, while there are people out there (for sure) who will misuse and attack with such questions, I guess I dearly hope that most people are good-hearted enough that they’re just trying to figure out something, clear up a mystery where they only have a tiny piece of information.

    To be honest, the majority of the people I’ve run into, both IRL and on the internet, are good-hearted. And the number of people who are vicious and attacking are limited and, thankfully, have been easily removed from my life in much the same way that you removed your FB person.

  3. Like you, I find most people good-hearted. Those who are not stand out in stark contrast.

    Oh the pleasure of the flannelette sheet! Rituals of the changing seasons are such a source of pleasure and continuity. If only winter did not last soooooo long, lo.!

  4. (FYI, left comments at previous post – was late to the party.)

    I have the oddest assortment of friends on Facebook. I’ve been quite fortunate to not have problems with my settings, or gotten unraveled by privacy issues, or felt uncomfortable with the increasing ads. I just scroll through. Much like I do in life, I try not to get flustered with the mechanics. There are a bazillion times I don’t agree with statements people post on FB – I simply scroll through – and that’s precisely what your *friend* should’ve done… scrolled through instead of being snarky – or responded with civility. I’m so sorry you had that experience. Dreadful.

    I’m raking my brain at the moment trying to remember if I’ve had unpleasant discussions on FB. Personally, I don’t recall that I’ve ever posted anything discussion-worthy. I post very personal essays with insights to my life, but my words usually only strengthen my relationships.

    I recently had a friend accuse me of being the harshest person ever to communicate with her. I was devastated. To this day, I have no clue what she meant. Absolutely no clue. So I scroll on through life and do the best to be the best.
    As a writer, I’m all too familiar with the pitfalls of the written word that lack tonal nuance and inflection. Signals can get easily garbled.

    Now, given all this… several months ago I noticed that a gentleman who is extremely bright and kind in so many ways, always (and I mean always) left confrontational, snarky comments to my posted essays on FB. Offsite, I sent a message querying if he was making fun of me and he responded, “Of course I’m making fun of you.” Um, call me a knucklehead, but these days that are so fragile and precious to me, I found his admission terribly offensive. In reality, there was nothing *fun* (nor ever had been) about his demeaning remarks, which I had tolerated through gnashing teeth. So, I blocked him. Like you, I use this tool carefully, but I didn’t hesitate to toss him into cyberspace. *smiles*

    Maggie, thank you for being marvelous you. I feel a special aura of goodwill and protection when I visit you – your heart and sensibility… and compass that twirls with such fairness.

    Sorry to yammer on and on. Yesterday was a tough one. I needed to talk a bit… I knew you would forgive me. xo

  5. Reenie, you, harsh, well I must be missing something!! Sometimes people think the truth is harsh, and shouldn’t be mentioned, they hoe a tough row in life though, truth is all around us, and will bite you if you turn your back on it. Keep being real Reenie, it is a gift.

    I seldom post anything in my own timeline that generates discussion. I do participate in discussions that are truly discussions, about topics I am familiar with. I end up interacting with a very broad swath of individuals as a result of joining discussions. When putting ideas “out there” there is always a risk of confrontational reactions.

    Wow, you are a more patient woman than I, in tolerating that fellow in your personal Facebook space! For me, as soon as remarks become even the slightest bit “off colour” and personal, it is over.

    Sorry to hear you had a tough day yesterday. I always enjoy your comments here Reenie!

  6. TopsyTurvy (Teri)

    *sigh* I find the day is reminding me that there are “gray” people too, those who aren’t so much attacking or vicious as they are thoughtless and/or unkind. And, sadly, even those of us who are good-hearted don’t always measure up to the best that we could be. (And, yes, that includes me.)

  7. NORA

    I had to leave Facebook because it became enervating. Posts did not even have to include me and I still felt the draw. It seems to be a platform for many people to vent and carry on. The bashing and assumptions were distasteful. I miss some of my dear friends there. I especially miss the photographs. In the end I was hacked and gave up.

    I think there are many people who can not listen for one reason or another. They then may become intolerant and their ego speaks instead of their heart. I used to enjoy FB very much. It used to be fun. I don’t always think that people are conscious of how they are perceiving things. It’s all perception when you think about it.

    I have never heard of flannelettes! I have flannel sheets and I imagine flannelettes must be their cousin. I love anything that will make a nest cozy. I must look into flannelettes.

  8. Nora, recently I discovered just how enervating Facebook could be, as I freely commented on an issue I felt to be important. I received only one bash, then blocked the blockhead.

    There are few issues that would tempt me into a discussion on Facebook, because of the “bashing and assumptions”. A few times I have participated in threads where everyone involved was motivated by the desire to communicate, it wasn’t an argument to win, although we all had different ways of seeing things, and that was invigorating.

    Mostly Facebook lets me know my friends are still alive and kicking, and a bit about what they are up to. That is the best part.

    It may be that the word flannelette is interchangeable with flannel. I have always heard both terms used to describe the same material. However, I found a description that outlines the difference, flannel being made with wool or wool blends, and flannelette being made with cotton.
    http://www.wisegeek.org/what-is-flannel.htm

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