Three years ago I worked with a committee of international professionals to develop policy recommendations in the health care field. The work will be published soon, in an academic journal, and I will be one of the many authors of the piece. My contribution was small, and it was an honour to participate in this project. This will likely be my very last academic publication in an adjudicated journal.
I wrote an article about my research, research conducted when I was an undergraduate, and it was vetted by, and published in, an adjudicated academic journal. This was advantageous to my career, and deleterious at the same time. Publishing in this way as an undergraduate was the subject of hot debate, and a lot of hostility from certain factions of the faculty, where I was studying for my degrees. It was good research, and deserved to be published, and it was my first academic publication in an adjudicated journal. I noticed this morning that the publisher John Wiley and Sons has picked up the publication, and it is now listed on their site. I am pleased that is has survived. Several copies are were also vetted by the Library of Congress, where the article sits in their archives. It reminds me that I have made contributions to the world.
The best opportunities and events in my life have arrived by chance, not by design. Now, as a senior, I am going to let my energy flow, and see where it takes me. Perhaps it will take me to a comfortable chair by an open window, looking out into a garden. Perhaps it will take me to a committee table. Perhaps it will take me to a soup kitchen, behind the serving table in an apron, or in front of it, wearing one of Bex’s hats for the homeless. I intend to follow the energy, wherever it decides I am going. When I have choices I will try to choose wisely. Who knows what the universe has in store for me.
It has been raining since yesterday, some nearby areas are experiencing flooding. Luckily we are dry here, except the garage, which has an inch or so of water on the concrete floor, compliments of the leaking roof, which has not wintered well. This problem will be solved when Attila replaces the roof, and a lot of the water damaged stuff (mostly old lumber) will go into a dumpster. The roof project is slated for a start in May, after the new windows in the house have been installed.
The fellows may come today to install the attic insulation. I have “cleared the decks” for them, so I hope they do show up, so that I can put the house back together again!
I think yesterday was a turning point for me, one of many I will experience in this journey through grief. Although I know I am not done with the grief, there is something new going on in my heart, something very small and buoyant.
Date: 10:00 AM EST Wednesday 21 February 2018
Condition: Light Rainshower
Pressure: 101.9 kPa
Dew point: 9.6°C
Wind: W 17 km/h
Visibility: 4 km
“I get by with a little help from my friends.”
John Lennon and Paul McCartney from the album Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band
“The highest result of education is tolerance.”
1880 – 1968
Why not stand “behind” the serving counter, wearing “Maggies Hats for the Homeless” (that I know you want to make!) and maybe someone will notice your hat and put in an order for a few? You could call it “Hats for the Homeless, North.” I told Paul this morning that I need to start thinking of making “summer hats” – which was quite funny. “Air conditioned hats for summer, with lots of holes in them.”
Bex, summer hats were what I started with, my cotton beanies with lots of holes so that they would be cool, and hold my hair out of the way while I burned brush at the Rideau Camp! I am working on my blanket right now, slow going, right now I tend to flit from one activity to another, finishing nothing. I think this is temporary, and i look forward to seeing your summer hat line!
Maggie, you’ve made it through the first awful, grinding stage of adjustment. Good for you!
There’s probably nothing easy about the road ahead, but as to the road behind, when it tries to overwhelm you, it may be getting safer to tell it, “I’m bored with you and have better things to do.”
Wendy, I think I have! What a hard road it has been thus far. The road ahead is not easy, but at least I know I am on it, I was blindsided by the initial changes. I don’t like being on this road, but I will have to embrace it, and that process is beginning to happen.