Thoughts for a Wednesday Morning

Growing up I used to think that other people knew things I didn’t know. As I have aged I have come to the conclusion that I was right. The things they knew were things that came from not knowing other things… the things I knew. Because I knew the things I knew, I could never know the things they knew, nor could they ever know the the things I knew, because our childhood was over, and nothing can substitute for the experiences during the formative years. The cards had been dealt, the thing we had in common was that we had to play the hand we had been dealt.

I came to accept that it was not possible for me to know the things that other people know. I consider it hubris, and ignorance, to think that one can acquire through any “after-the-fact” analysis, the complexity of a lived experience. I am surprised at how many people demand to know the things I know, without having to have the experience. It doesn’t work like that. A person is only a tourist in another person’s lived experience. One can be compassionate, empathetic, kind, and supportive, but they will never really be able to grasp in all its complexity, the experience of another human being.

I respect what I don’t, and cannot, understand, which is another person’s experience.

My hand has been very hard work to play. There has been no time for whining, or feeling sorry for myself; that is a luxury not afforded by the hand I play. When I express my feelings, my thoughts, it is about optimizing my chances of survival. The survival of my integrity, my heart, my soul, and my body. I refuse to give up expressing myself for the sake of making less self-disciplined people, or people who received more advantageous cards from the dealer, or people who spend their lives pretending that all hands are dealt equally, or people who are predators waiting for any chance to use their advantages to take more than their fare share of resources, more comfortable. Their comfort is not my primary concern. My comfort is not their primary concern. Their comfort does not trump my comfort, nor do I expect mine to trump theirs. On a personal level, it is a balanced equation. On a social level the card game is not dealt with integrity; I believe that the universe seeks balance, and will have it.

The universe can play the long game, humans cannot.

The forest.

Worldly Distractions


Date: 10:00 AM EDT Wednesday 31 August 2016
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 101.3 kPa
Tendency: falling
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: 22.9°C
Dewpoint: 21.0°C
Humidity: 89%
Wind: SW 16 km/h
Humidex: 31


“While the fates permit, live happily; life speeds on with hurried step, and with winged days the wheel of the headlong year is turned.”
5 BC – 65 AD

“There are so many men, all endlessly attempting to sweep me off my feet. And there is one of you, trying just the opposite. Making sure my feet are firm beneath me, lest I fall.”
Patrick Rothfuss

These two little videos brought tears to my eyes. Durr is hinting at the way I see the universe, I fell less alone.

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Bex Crowell

Whenever you write a blog such as this one, I always wonder and wonder whatever made you write it? What happened? Or is it just a topic you’ve mulled over for a long while and thought it was time it came out? I always think it was me who may have done something to make you write it, but that’s silly – right?


Aside to Bex–I bet it was FaceBook. 😉

Maggie, you are right. That’s part of why I haven’t said much in response to your grief and your family’s grief with the passing of your brother. If I had had–and lost–a brother, I’d at least have my own experience to perhaps have some sort of idea what you’re experiencing, but as an only, it’s all a mystery to me. I cannot know what you know.

TopsyTurvy (Teri)

I’m hoping you’ll answer Bex’ query, at least to some extent.

I think I’m going to have to read this over several times. It’s not coming through completely, though I do get the part that people can never have the same whole experience that someone else has had. That has definitely stood out for me when I’ve written about things that happened with SD and her mom, and people come back in such a judgemental manner. And I find myself thinking how they think they know what was going on but I haven’t added in that X, Y, Z, and A, B, C also happened because the story would wind up just too convoluted. And so many times I’ve found myself justified in thinking/saying that they don’t understand because they haven’t lived it.

Joan Lansberry

I hope whatever is being sucky now will be more than balanced by many good things that give you joy. Hugs!

Still the Lucky few

Maggie, this post had a deep impact on me. It brings into sharp focus the reason we cannot judge anyone, or even say, “I understand.” It always amazes me that with so many humans in the world, each one of us has this unique, personal experience, that no one else can fully understand.


Catching up, finally! You’d think I’ve been busy or something … and I must have, to fall behind your entries by several.

The dishwasher saga was exhausting, even just to read. A hell of a job. You two have got staying power, boy do you ever.

Glad you finally got some rain! Bet it was most welcome; nothing like green.

I’m just about to go to bed. Sat here to eat crackers first.


Well, we’re only making it up to 21C (70F), today. Hope you’ll be seeing something similar.

I listened to the Durr videos. I was taught much of the current accepted theories in university. I find, though, that I’m just too much of a pragmatist to take them very far. Okay, on observation the state of the observed changes. But that doesn’t mean much when I’m watching a ball roll down hill and am running to get it. I can still infer where the ball is going to go with a basic understanding of gravity and the terrain. Any changes that may have happened because I’m observing the ball are so miniscule that for all practical purposes they’re non-existent. (Yes, it may be different for quantum particles but pragmatically I’m not dealing with quantum particles, I’m just dealing with a ball.)

Yes, I know Durr goes beyond well-known theorems but my practical mind takes over and has problems with it all. I will say though that while I like the idea of ‘it’s banging all the time’ that his theory on the Big Bang doesn’t fit the current facts we believe we have with regard to the Big Bang, such as an echo of the sound from the Big Bang. There’s been no finding of multiple sounds from multiple Big Bangs.

I do think that your grandmother would have had problems with Durr’s belief that there is no God. At least not in the realm that he’s speaking of. (That’s not a serious comment on my part. More of a light joke/playful teasing, sent with a soft smile.)

TopsyTurvy (Teri)

Hmmm. Wanted to say that my comments are meant as part of a give and take in a pleasant conversation. I’ve found sometimes that for some reason something I’ve said is taken as an absolute, that I have spoken period, and I never mean things that way.

I see commentary as the beginning of a conversation between people that’s meant to be evolving, with the only exception being when we might come upon a conflict where we would have to agree to disagree. Which we can do and then move on to another topic.

TopsyTurvy (Teri)