Should I be concerned?

Should I be concerned?

I love my quiet days, perusing the Internet for a little while, adding genealogy tidbits to my database as people share their histories, interacting on Facebook from time to time, taking a few pictures, sitting in my easy chair looking out at the leaves dancing with the breeze, picking up my crochet project when the mood strikes me, listening to my house talk, the refrigerator cycling, the clock ticking on the wall, creaks and groans as the building soaks up the sun. The list is much longer of course, and it varies day to day. I love it here at Mist Cottage, quietly going through the days, knowing that at a certain time Attila will walk in the door and call “hello”, to which I will respond, “welcome home!”.

After a lifetime of success driven activity, crushing responsibilities, pursuing achievements, reaching goals, meeting deadlines, following children’s schedules for over 26 years, it seems like such a guilty pleasure to enjoy doing what I WANT to do, WHEN I want to do it, for the most part. And to be living with such a wonderful partner in life, who is actually pleased for this new freedom in my life, well, it just doesn’t get any better in my book.

I have been letting go of the urge to accomplish. I have been forgetting the little things, that are no longer defined as urgent by rambunctious children. I let some things go, because they just don’t seem important any more. I don’t envy the material wealth that other people have successfully accumulated; I don’t envy it, and I do not desire it.

I have almost completely lost the thread on “the good life”, and the fifteen minutes of fame thing. I have lost the ability to see things through the eyes of people who want big houses, designer anything, expensive vehicles, fame, fortune, or any of the things people think will make them happy. I am considered odd, poor and pathetic by some, but I don’t know why, because I see my life as rich and full and meaningful.

Some people have referred to this life I lead as “giving up”. They are as blind as bats.

I see it as stepping up to, or more stepping into, my own life.

There is no ad or media promotion that can romanticize what I am talking about, because it would look different for every single individual on planet earth… and the genuine article is impossible to monetize, which doesn’t mean someone won’t try.

I don’t think what I now have is something easily accomplished in the years when one must deal with the day-to-day rigours of survival in the working world. A few will be in the lucky position of doing something they love and getting paid for it, but that is not by design, it is a combination of hard work, an initial “leg up”, and happy circumstance. This is a rare combination, in my opinion. Mostly people who work hard, work hard, and then, work hard some more. Those in the lucky positions credit their superior personal prowess as the key to their “success”. I don’t buy it for a minute. The people I think of as having it all are those who, at the end of the day, have themselves, regardless of how they have to earn their daily bread.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

27°C
Date: 12:00 PM EDT Friday 18 August 2017
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 100.6 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: 26.5°C
Dew point: 22.5°C
Humidity: 78%
Wind: SW 25 km/h
Humidex: 36
Visibility: 19 km

Quote

“Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise.”
Bertrand Russell
1872 – 1970

[Why magic bullets implode on impact.]

P.S. One of our persistent Grackles is pecking vigorously on the roof facia. I don’t blame it for wanting to share this house with us, but still, the answer is no!

8 Comments

  1. Teri

    Should you be concerned about what? That your days are spent happily? That your goals are changing to things pleasant and usually attainable with just a little intiative and elbow grease? That you’re happy in your little cottage and even have weekly or nearly weekly trips to the great outdoors where you’re equally happy? That you have relatively good health to enjoy your time with Attila and your family? That you have the imagination and the vision to see and enjoy the little things in life?

    No, I don’t think you should be worried at all. Enjoy the pleasures that surround you, ignore the things on your to-do list that really can be ignored, sit on the porch or at the camp and enjoy the outdoors, travel when and where you can, and bask in your time with Attila.

    Enjoy! You’ve earned it!

  2. Sandy

    I agree. You have nothing to worry about! You accomplished different things earlier on, not the least of which was raising your kids!. But now you have the time and opportunity to enjoy your life at Mist Cottage with Attila. It sounds like heaven! Enjoy!

  3. Sandy, thank you! I guess there is a “a time to every purpose under the heaven” sort of thing, this rightness of place and time in which I have found myself. Oh how I wish that every human born could experience this feeling!

  4. Life is so grand when it is the little, natural things that make us happy. I’m in the same boat. I have no desire to do a lot of the things that make others happy, and they may well think I’m a stick in the mud, but that’s not my concern. I know what makes me happy — and while I can, this is where I’ll stay.

    I’m not in the wondrous position of having a spouse who is happy that I’m happy … but I’m happy anyway!

    -Kate

  5. Kate, good on you, being happy anyway!!!! I mean that very sincerely. I feel sorry for people who cannot enjoy other people’s joy. Think of it, how wonderful it is to see a child intense on learning something new, humans at their very best… I am very happy that you are happy, and I reap the benefits of your happiness every time I read your writing!

  6. And I too agree with all you say here. Although I have obstacles that are not pleasant in my life now, the circumstances I’m in here are just how I want them. No climbing the ladder of success, no competing with neighbors, just sitting on my porch, enjoying the birds and squirrels and chipmunks and the occasional vole who pops up out of a hole in the lawn. And the dogs on their walkies going down the street, or the neighbors coming and going, waving, saying “hello Belle” (because they always notice her first since she’s barking her “hello” at them)… then they see me on the porch and wave… that is all I want really, and yes, to others, it’s a boring lifestyle, but I think those are the younger ones… I’ve noticed that when one gets past a certain age, things change and priorities change – like you have described – so I think it’s a natural thing to want to accumulate less and enjoy the little things more.

    That said, on Monday we have the electrician coming to put in a new circuit board that will take them 6 hours or more. No power here for all that time! That means no AC and no TV or music… no internet either! I’m trying to get my head around that and wonder how I will survive… I wish I could just sleep thru it! Crochet will be my salvation but I need to go find my battery operated floor lamp and see if I can get it to work… it’s hard to crochet in the dark and lately, our weather has been dreary. Also, it’s the day of the eclipse of the sun… so need to be wary about that…

  7. Bex, at times I think it is the increasingly significant obstacles that force me to slow down and notice the lovely little things. I remember noticing them when I was young, before the teen years shoved me into the headlights of the culture, and I remember how much joy those little things provided. My Granny and Grandpa knew, and of course, by the time I knew them they were older, Granny was 49 when I was born, she had a lot of experience under her belt. My time with my Grandparents was the foundation of my personality, so through those teen years I have always stood on the sidelines of pop culture, looking in and wondering what the appeal was, because I just didn’t get it. I get what I have now though!

    Your Monday sounds like it will be challenging! Can you move a chair to the window to crochet by daylight? Can you crochet on the deck? Will one of your internet devices work on batteries? Aren’t we funny though, supposedly past it but we rely so heavily on the latest technology!

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