I have begun the process of shutting down some of my web sites. One in particular has few visitors, and is difficult to maintain, security being the issue it is on the information highway. I deleted all files from the server this morning for that site. I have to say I will not miss the constant updating required to keep it secure! For now I will continue to maintain the other sites, as they receive a steady stream of traffic, and are quite useful to those who use them. The other sites are easier to maintain, they are newer and the security software is easier to update.
It is 6:30 a.mm. Through the window I can just begin to make out the silhouette of the ash tree. There are intermittent gusts of wind that set the branches swaying. I love watching the dawn gently nudge the day awake.
Yesterday, and the night before it, were rough ones. I don’t dwell on the sadnesses in my life, they are monoliths of pain, ancient and unmoving mountains, beyond my ability to scale. I do have to visit them though, from time to time. Yesterday, and the night before it, I was camped in the foothills.
I did find that, the night before last when I could not fall asleep, the Melatonin tablet that I placed under my tongue, after a few hours of tossing and turning, helped to take the edge off the pain, enough for me to finally fall into a deep and much needed sleep. As I began to doze off, I promised myself that I would address the issues in the morning, when I was refreshed. Sleep is so very important when one is dealing with sadnesses. I always eat well during these short periods of time. Keeping my physical condition at its best while dealing with difficult issues is crucial.
I kept my promise to myself, and spent yesterday exploring the sadnesses, spending some time with them, affirming that they are indeed very sad, and that there is nothing to be done. Attila and I had a chat last night about the issues, he knew something was amiss with me. He also knows the situations with which I deal, and knows the sadnesses are well founded, inevitable, and that the time I spend with them will be painful but brief. And that was the end to it, until the next time.
Last night I slept soundly, without needing assistance from Melatonin. This morning I awoke refreshed and ready for a new day.
Soon the window replacement will be completed. When it is, Attila will move on to the next project, the new kitchen floor. The materials have been purchased, commercial grade vinyl tiles, low VOC, very inexpensive, very plain.
I have been emptying the storage cabinet in the dining area of the kitchen, bit by bit. It is a big job, as there is really no other place to put the contents. All the drawers are now empty, and I am working on the shelves. I anticipate that by the time the bedroom window project is finished, the storage cabinet will be empty and ready to move. But where to move it! Every square inch in this little house is occupied. It will have to be kept in the middle of the living room I fear, for the duration of the floor installation.
Today is Hallowe’en. We expect a few Trick or Treater’s at the door tonight. We have a pumpkin, which Attila will carve when he gets home from work. We have candy, which we purchased a few weeks ago when it was on sale. The Jack O’ Lantern will be our only decoration. We are not enthusiastic decorators when it comes to “holidays”, except at Christmas, we like to have a Christmas tree, and coloured lights. But Hallowe’en, Valentine’s Day, Easter, we do not decorate. We don’t really notice these days really. But we do know that the kids like Hallowe’en, and Trick or Treating, so we turn on our porch light, light the candle in the Jack O’ Lantern, and distribute sweets to to the kids who come to our door.
“Peter Tokofsky, an assistant professor in the department of folklore and mythology in UCLA states, “The earliest trace (of Halloween) is the Celtic festival, Samhain, which was the Celtic New Year. It was the day of the dead, and they believed the souls of the deceased would be available” (Navarro).” Source: The Origins of Halloween
I will be thinking of my ancestors tonight, and my loved ones who have passed. I can remember my Grandparents, my Great Aunts and my Great Uncles, and I know by first hand account of their families, who raised them, further back than that I cannot reach with my heart.
Date: 1:00 PM EDT Tuesday 31 October 2017
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 101.2 kPa
Dew point: 0.4°C
Wind: WSW 32 gust 44 km/h
Visibility: 24 km
“But psychoanalysis has taught that the dead—a dead parent, for example—can be more alive for us, more powerful, more scary, than the living. It is the question of ghosts.”
1930 – 2004