Will Melt

Transition: “the process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another”. So says my computer’s dictionary.

That is definitely what I am experiencing today, transition. I was numb, my feelings buried deep so as not to be evident in any way, so as not to set off the hostility and retaliation of my former coworker. I was tormented, and helplessly watched others being tormented, for much of the month of March. Now the feelings generated by that experience are slowly rising to the surface, they are not pretty. And how are they manifesting? The kitchen tap is dripping, it infuriates me! There is a small smudge, left when an insect was killed with a fly-swatter, on the wall, near the ceiling, in the bathroom; I can’t see it, sitting at the computer. But I know it is there, and it is irritating me no end! This isn’t easy, all this fury and irritation aimed at my immediate environment. Keeping busy is very important at this point in the process of recuperation. Attila, so far, has not come under fire, so you could say things are going rather well!

Having written all this, I just glanced out the window and a robin hopped onto a branch just outside the window; reminding me that there is beauty everywhere. Attila says he heard a robin two evenings ago, while he was splitting wood for the evening fire. Spring is arriving.

It is sunny this morning, so I took myself out of doors to collect kindling. It is a good time of year to be walking about in the bush, the snow has melted and frozen into a thick hard crust, which bears my weight. The snow will melt under the hot sun in the very near future. I found all sorts of smallish branches that had fallen over the last few weeks. Dead wood, that will make excellent kindling. My small contribution to the daily firings of the masonry fireplace. We are still quite comfortable, the sun is warm and helps to heat the living area.

Today the spring cleaning takes the form of vacuuming, a job much hated; at least I hate it. Attila has it well in hand. He is also baking an apple crisp, and frying up some bacon bits to freeze, as a topping for pizza. I have collected kindling from the bush, folded the laundry that dried overnight on racks in the living room, where I had draped it the night before and later I will try to bake bread for Attila’s lunches next week. A very quiet day at the homestead.

Now that I have very few hours of work scheduled, my attention is wandering back to genealogy, and the book that needs a little more research in the US records before it is ready for publication. This will involve further investment in an account at Ancestry.com, but there is no other option if I am to proceed with the work; research costs money. I’ve invested decades of my time, and some little cash, into this book, and would like to get it completed. Books like these are priceless, there is no profit to be made on them, but one hopes to recoup a bit of the cost of research and publication.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

2 °C
Condition: Mainly Sunny
Pressure: 101.5 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: 2.0°C
Dewpoint: -0.4°C
Humidity: 84 %
Wind: WSW 11 km/h

Quote 

“I never think of the future – it comes soon enough.”
Albert Einstein
1879 – 1955

On the Screen

Så som i himmelen / As in Heaven
Cast: Michael Nyqvist, Frida Hallgren, Lennart Jahkel, Helen Sjoholm
Director:Kay Pollak
Swedish with English subtitles.

All Gone

Dead Pine Bird Feeder, April 2, 2011

Dead Pine Bird Feeder, April 2, 2011

Complete, over, water under the bridge, old news… my last hours at the old office, with the negative coworker, came, and are now gone. All gone.

I am blank.

The sun is shining, guiding me back to composure and balance.

We are now officially out of firewood. All gone. It was a long, cold winter. Attila took his chainsaw, hiked through the snow, through the bush, found a small dead tree standing, felled the dead tree, sectioned it, loaded it onto a sled and pulled the load of wood home. That will provide heat for a few more days. We will have to purchase more firewood this spring, to stack and dry for next winter. The purchased wood is delivered by truck, it is dumped out the back of the truck onto the yard. Attila then carries the wood by wheelbarrow, back to the wood shed to be stacked. It is a very big job, moving all that wood.

I’ve done little in the way of domestic maintenance over the last few weeks. Today spring cleaning will begin, slowly. I’ve stared with filing, which is always a satisfying and quick way to reduce visual clutter.

Shopping is a challenge here in the bush. When we lived in the city, we belonged to a food co-op, where we ordered local and organic food in bulk. We found a small co-op here, but the orders were so intermittent that it wasn’t working out for us. So, I setup a company to purchase bulk food. We don’t sell much, and the orders have to be quite substantial to avoid high shipping charges. However, several orders a year of bulk items keeps the supplies well stocked, for us and our customers. We were to receive an order on Friday, but that didn’t work out due to a series of small miscommunications. The order will arrive Tuesday, which works out very well. We have ordered things like an 11 kg bag of red lentils, things you just cannot pick up at the local grocery store. We do not buy pre-processed foods, just ingredients. Buying ingredients is such an “old fashioned” way to handle the daily preparation and consumption of food. Old is better I think, at least in this instance.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

8 °C
Condition: Sunny
Pressure: 100.1 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: 8.0°C
Dewpoint: -6.2°C
Humidity: 36 %
Wind: W 21 gust 35 km/h

Quote 

“My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what’s really going on to be scared.”
P. J. Plauger

Notes

P. J. Plauger

“P. J. Plauger is an author and entrepreneur. He has written and co-written articles and books about programming style, software tools, and the C programming language.
He founded Whitesmiths, the first company to sell a C compiler and Unix-like operating system (Idris). He has since been involved in C and C++ standardization and is now the president of Dinkumware. In January 2009 he became the convener of the ISO C++ standards committee, but in October 2009 he tendered his resignation after failing to pass a resolution to stop processing any new features in order to facilitate the promised shipping date for the C++0x standard.
Plauger wrote a science fiction short story, “Child of All Ages”, first published in Analog in the March 1975 issue, whose hero was granted immortality before attaining puberty and finds that being a child who never grows up is far removed from an idyllic Peter Pan-like existence. The story was nominated for a Nebula Award in 1975 and a Hugo Award in 1976. He won the John W. Campbell Award for Best New Writer in 1975, notably beating John Varley for the award.”
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._J._Plauger

So Tired

One more day to go. Tomorrow is my last day as an employee at this office, as of Monday I am based out of the new office. This was the last day working with the negative coworker. No surprises today, just tedium, not so bad. Tomorrow I work there alone, so it remains to be seen if there will be any surprises waiting for me on my very last day. I hope not.

Tomorrow afternoon my recovery period will begin. I expect a bit of pain as I begin to thaw, but it should be short lived.

I am very, very tired.

Luna and Janus found and purchased their new house, it looks very nice; needs just a little bit of work, superficial stuff that will make it their own.

The weather has been beautiful, sunny and warm.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

5 °C
Condition: Mainly Sunny
Pressure: 100.0 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: 5.0°C
Dewpoint: -8.9°C
Humidity: 36 %
Wind: W 17 gust 31 km/h

Quote

“A man’s silence is wonderful to listen to.”
Thomas Hardy