I play mahjong on the computer.
It just occurred to me that the program I prefer has a feature that I love. It ends the game and tells me when it is hopeless to go on. Oh, if only life offered such surety! To know when to give up, what a boon that would be. I don’t give up. I will probably never give up. I know how to cut my losses, which is a completely different kettle of fish than giving up.
I remember when I chose my kids over my career. It was a choice forced upon me by circumstances beyond my control. A person can put themselves at risk to accomplish a goal, but it is quite another thing to put innocent children at risk for the same. I had stayed the course until the last few disastrous months, where others had fallen by the wayside. Then a cluster of events piled on me like a head on collision with a freight train, and my children were at risk. The choice was clear to me, I chose my kids. Not that the children knew or cared, they didn’t, they still don’t. Would I make the same choice again, sure I would. Would I like it, hell no.
When the disastrous circumstances were crashing through my door, I was told by a few people to “not give up”, referring to my career. What on earth were they thinking! (That is not a real question, their mindset is not one I want to spend any time trying to understand. I didn’t respect them then, and I don’t respect them now.) There was nothing on earth that was worth sacrificing my children for, nothing.
But wouldn’t it have been wonderful if I had known before investing 14 years of hard work and sacrifice, that it would come down to a simple, sudden choice. Also, success and failure are not black and white or binary, they are prone to grey scale and to parallax.
My children survived, and now thrive.
Sometimes I think a kind and reliable “you can give up now fairy” would have come in handy. Ah, but would I have listened? Very likely not.
I really enjoy this mahjong game.
Date: 3:00 PM EDT Saturday 7 April 2018
Condition: Partly Cloudy
Pressure: 101.2 kPa
Dew point: -10.7°C
Wind: SW 25 gust 38 km/h
Visibility: 24 km
“For you to be successful, sacrifices must be made. It’s better that they are made by others but failing that, you’ll have to make them yourself.”
Rita Mae Brown