Innate Desire

On Sunday Attila and I spent a strenuous and happy day at the camp. Attila dug up some of the Periwinkle at the country house, which he transplanted to the edge of the drainage ditch beside the new driveway. With rain predicted all week, we are hoping the Periwinkle will take root and thrive.

As usual, I forgot to bring my camera!

Attila shovelled and moved a load of crushed granite, to define the future parking and turning area on the camp lot. That was very heavy work! I commandeered the rake and as Attila dumped buckets of crushed granite, I levelled them with the rake. When we had exhausted the supply of crushed stone, the results were inadequate for easily turning the car around to face the road. Attila did get the car turned though, with a five point turn. We will need more crushed stone, but that is for another year; for now we will have to be content with five point turns to position the car for exit.

The road in front of the camp is a paved “highway”, a township road. It hosts a remarkable amount of traffic, including cars, light trucks, heavy trucks and machinery, hikers, cyclists, ATVs, and motorcycles. The heavy trucks cannot come to a stop in a timely manner, one must use caution when in their vicinity. The road itself is not straight, with many blind curves and hills. There is wildlife everywhere, which means that deer, and smaller mammals often cross the road, and must be watched for. Most of the time the operators of all of these modes of transport interact quite respectably with each other and the road conditions. On Sunday though, six suicidal motorcyclists screamed by our camp, travelling well over 100 miles an hour, illegally, and dangerously. I doubt all of that group will live long and healthy lives. I do hope that when they do run into their personal karma, they do not kill anyone else.

Since the road is so busy, we would rather not back out onto the road when we leave the camp. That is why we are working hard to prepare a turn around on the camp lot, so that we are facing the road on exit. Luckily, the road immediately in front of the camp is straight, with a good line of site in both directions. Another advantage we have is that you can hear vehicles approaching from quite a distance away. We are cautious, and safe enough.

As my knee is improving every day, I can now walk without pain. I still limp a bit, and there is the odd twitch of pain, but nothing of significance. That being so, I decided to take a walk down the track. The sky was overcast, there was a lovely breeze. I stepped carefully; although most of the track bed is sand, there are areas of stones that trip, and debris left by ATV enthusiasts. As I walked along I spied several ripe raspberries hanging on vines beside the track. Of course, I ate them! That was just the beginning, I ate my way down the track, and back again!

When I returned from my walk Attila was still totally focused on the crushed rock, and my contribution was not needed for the moment. So I took myself off for a drive. My first stop was the dump store. As usual, I found useful items to bring away with me. I found two plastic lawn chairs, four nesting plastic bins in perfect condition, a box of laundered sheets and pillowcases, a portable grill that might work on my rocket stove, and a clear plastic tote. I made my donation and headed to my next destination.

I arrived at the Community Centre to seek out drinking water. I had two four litre jugs with me, which originally held maple syrup, and have now morphed into heavy duty water jugs. I had no luck finding the water supply. So I parked the car, and got out my computer to see if I could find an internet signal. I did find it, but could not gain access; which is a project for another day. While fiddling with the computer, I observed another vehicle pulling up and parking in the lot. A gentleman and a dog emerged, to head for the back of the building, water jug in hand! Aha!

I grabbed my water jugs and followed man and dog around the corner, filling up my jugs when my turn came. Returning to the parking lot, he and I had a long and pleasant chat about the area, the history of the area, and how much we liked the area. I am sure I will run into him again on one of my water fetching excursions.

I returned the the camp with my treasures and water.

Attila decided to take a break, so we sat under the trees, eating our sandwiches, enjoying the breeze and the trees and the view.

Later in the afternoon, Attila called to me from the area of the road, alerting me that someone was having a look around my Granny and Grandpa’s house down the road. Off I went, to see what was going on. They were a lovely couple from Pickering, following the trail of historic buildings in Ontario. They photographed the house from the road, and asked permission to tour the property. I gladly showed them around, talking about the history of the house, the village that once surrounded it, the hotel that is now gone, and the railway which has been out of use since the early 1950s. They shared a lot of their history and interests, as they live in a 150 year old home.

While I was chatting with this lovely couple, my Mom’s cousin drove by, stopped and then drove into the driveway at Granny and Grandpa’s house to chat. She was on her way to work, as she volunteers in town. What a lovely person she is, much like her Mother, my Great Aunt.

As they all drove off on their adventures, I returned to the camp, to find Attila still hard at work on the drive. But thunder rumbled ever closer, so I began to pack our things and load the car. Sure enough, the rain began in earnest, so we hopped into the car and headed home to the country house.

We had a wonderful day on Sunday!

Attila was overtired Sunday night, and had trouble sleeping. That meant that his busy day on Monday left him completely exhausted. Luckily sleep usuallly finds Attila easily, so that last night he dropped off to sleep at 7:00 p.m., and awoke refreshed this morning.

Occasionally, while spending these lovely lone hours in the green, a shadow will float by. Shades of mordor!

I write, I delete. I write, I delete.

And so it goes when I write that which need not occupy my thoughts for long periods of time, but springs to mind nevertheless. I give those thoughts their time, their outlet, their expression. They are necessary thoughts, considering the darker sides of life, acknowledging the part of the spectrum of reality that is not comfortable, not shiny, not admirable in any way. I do go there, I do give the dark side of the human condition its due, acknowledge its existance, to myself.

I explore the dark side for possibilities, to prioritize my energies to impact the human condition in a positive way. These possibilities arise for all of us, and if we are unwilling to acknowledge the dark side, we will not see those possibilities, those opportunities to achieve balance. If we are unwilling to acknowledge full reality on an individual basis, what hope do we have of achieving balance as a social unit?

If I am to stop and dwell on thoughts, I chose to make those lingering thoughts of hope, of possibilities, of opportunities, of good people, of good deeds.

I think I will leave this text intact, just to remind myself what is important. Sometimes I need reminding, when the pressures from the outside world are strong, when the drug of mass media, and competetive consumerism, storms the gates of my life. That outside force offers happiness “if only I had xxx”. Manufactured desire, chewing gum of the soul.

When I succumb to this type of desire, which I now recognize as distinctly different than my innate desires, the promised happiness lasts for some brief hours, then dissipates as another manufactured desire infiltrates my psyche. More, I find, I am always desiring more… and that is why I call it a drug. And that is why I have learned to distinguish the innate desire from the manufactured desire.

Worldly Distractions


Date: 12:00 PM EDT Tuesday 29 July 2014
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 101.3 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: 17.0°C
Dewpoint: 11.5°C
Humidity: 70%
Wind: WSW 18 gust 28 km/h


“An education isn’t how much you have committed to memory, or even how much you know. It’s being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don’t.”
Anatole France
1844 – 1924

I love this distinction.

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Irene Bean

I’ve written about what I call Life Ordinary. The title sounds dreary, but the tenor wasn’t.

I enjoyed this post a lot. Wore me out, girl!

I have no eye or heart or stamina for violence, so have no inclination to choose TV shows that might unhinge and rattle the delicate nature of my world. I’ve recently stumbled upon a BBC show called Lark Rise to Candleford. It’s pretty tame, but oh so charming. I enjoy cooking shows with a competitive edge – except Gordon Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen has become a Jerry Springer show with unsavory behavior by the chefs and host. It’s dimwitted junk. A *violent* show I do enjoy is a Canadian detective show called Motive. The viewers know the victim and killer at the onset – and then watch the detectives solve the crime – with dead ends and false leads. It’s been touted as one of the most realistic shows regarding detective work. I really like the actors, too.

Can’t believe I’m commenting with TV reviews. :))

Irene Bean

Yes, yes, and yes! Like you, I don’t have television, as such. I stream through Netflix, Amazon, and Hulu. Hulu costs $8.49 per month and offers a vast variety. On Amazon, I recently binged on Downton Abby. 🙂

Lark Rise is escapism of the highest form for me. An inexplicable yearning pulls at me… of simpler times even more simpler than my mid-century childhood. Then I peer closer to Lark Rise’s daily life – the hardship realities. Oh pish-posh – I love it! It’s plump with so many fine life-lessons. I smile and laugh and sigh.

I’m off to write!


There is a lot of crappy TV, but there is also some fabulous TV. Not a one of us has time to watch all the good stuff. Some I’ll recommend, if you can find it, comes from the BBC: Doc Martin (series), Last Tango in Halifax (series), Monarch of the Glen (series) — all really lovely, and there are more series on that channel as well as on the Detroit Public Network, which shows the Downton Abbey series. And a talk show that always makes me hoot n’ holler is the Graham Norton Show; if you ever run across it, give it a chance. It gathers the talk-of-the-town actors and singers and comedians on its couch all at once and let’s them all participate in the conversation with each other, so it can get quite funny. And the host himself cracks me up, he’s so naughty but ever so witty.

I have still not seen Orange is the New Black, so I am woefully behind the TV Times! And that’s okay; there is lots to choose from. It’s just the damn commercials. Man, what a time-waster those are. I don’t have any of the fancy stuff to skip them, or the know-how to record things. As a matter of fact, when I record stuff, it as good as satisfies my desire to watch the stuff and I end up never watching it, if I record too much.

Tom McCubbin

That five-point turn around drive way sounds about like mine. I back down on to an old bumpy county road and pray to God a kamikaze motorcycle isn’t coming through on his death mission.

TopsyTurvy (Teri)

Glad to hear your knee is getting better. Mine has been off and on, just when I think I’m back to normal one thing or another happens and it starts feeling “off” again. 🙁

Eating your way up and down the raspberry bushes sounds great! Today, DH and I bought some blackberries and I’m trying out a new recipe: a blackberry crumble with an oatmeal chocolate chip cookie kind of topping. I hope it tastes good!


You were definitely right about those seeds in the blackberries. Why is it you don’t notice seeds as much when you’re a kid?

The crumble was very tasty but the blackberry seeds interfered with th enjoyment and the oatmeal didn’t soften up. I’ll be trying the recipe again but with two changes: cherries or blueberries for fruit to eliminate seeds and removing the oatmeal from the recipe.