Decorative Totem

Next week I am scheduled to work with the “negative coworker”, every morning for five days running.  I thought I was doing very well, putting all thoughts of the impending experience aside.  However, my body has quietly and firmly informed me that this is a foolish and ineffective tactic.  My stomach pain has been building over the last few days; a gut feeling if there ever was one.  Yesterday I broke down and started taking the stomach medication my doctor prescribed for me, to be used when needed.  It is now needed.  I’ll continue with the medication for the next week and continue into the following week, when relief from negativity will do its magic and my stomach will stop sending out the alarm.

Everything in my being shouts “get out” when it comes to dealing with this workplace situation. And I am listening to the call. Universe, if you do tend towards balance, there is a little issue over in this corner that needs some attention! I am doing everything I can think of to assist you Universe.

One of the positive things I picked up, during my December attendance at a program for older wanna-be workers, was an extended vision of volunteer work.  I’ve been running web sites for over ten years.  Some of them are actually commercial entities, others are pipe dream experiments.  They actually serve their purposes well.  The unfortunate thing is, their purpose was never primarily to make money.  Of course, I’d hoped they would make money.  Of course they did/do not.  The new concept, at least new to me, is that these projects could be viewed as volunteer work.

Often people have asked me, why don’t you do volunteer work if you can’t find work.  The short answer is that I NEED to earn an income.  Expanding on that, many of the volunteer opportunities where I live involve a considerable investment in a CAR, FUEL and other various tangible expenses.  I need to earn money, not give it away.  I have to admit that when someone suggests volunteer work to me, I automatically regard them as extremely myopic.

However, with this new concept I can now state emphatically that volunteer work fills my days!  Since my projects are a source of great interest and satisfaction for me, I will be able to project bright enthusiasm.  This will allow me to avoid exploring meaningful communication with those who prefer psychic nearsightedness.

Since I am tragically forthright, it is a lot of work trying to communicate with people who want to live in a panacean state.  What I need is a single phrase of appeasement and dismissal, triggered by an automatic “bullshit-o-meter” hung about my neck as a decorative totem.

Meanwhile, back in the real world…

Yesterday, for the evening meal, I fried fish in olive oil, with chopped garlic.  Attila prepared some rice and green peas, in the microwave oven, to accompany the fish.  I had my doubts about the fish.  Usually I pan fry fresh fish, that is, fresh Canadian fish  However, this was frozen cod from China, and produced a completely different result when pan fried.  It was not pretty, but it was delicious.

Lately I’ve been having trouble finding fish from Canada; everything in the grocery store is from China.  Same thing with garlic.  I HATE having to buy food from China.  Attila and I really will have to take up fishing recreationally, out of necessity to obtain fresh Canadian fish.  Attila has also decided that we are going to grow garlic, tomatoes and squash at the little house this summer. There is adequate sunlight there, and the soil is excellent.  Our country house is in the forest, not good for gardening of any kind, so we are really looking forward to having a viable garden.

Talking about food, it is snack time!  Today it will be a handful of roasted almonds and a vegetable/fruit juice spritzer.

Worldly Distractions


-10 °C
Condition: Cloudy
Pressure: 100.0 kPa
Visibility: 16 km
Temperature: -10.0°C
Dewpoint: -12.4°C
Humidity: 83 %
Wind: E 8 km/h
Wind Chill: -14


“The mind can assert anything and pretend it has proved it. My beliefs I test on my body, on my intuitional consciousness, and when I get a response there, then I accept.”
D. H. Lawrence
1885 – 1930