I have done a lot of construction and renovating in my time. I used to keep up with anyone in my ability to lift and carry and build. I was just watching a video where a young woman is working on renovating a little house she purchased. As she carried a panel of plywood into her house, I suddenly realized that I would never be able to do that again. Wow, although I have known for a little while that this is true, I hadn’t really thought it through, because I haven’t had my eye on bigger projects for a while, projects that involve physical lifting, and carrying. That part of my life is over. I cannot renovate a house now, or build a shed, at least not by myself, I would need to work with someone who can lift and carry. It was quite a shocking realization!

Oh well, there are plenty of other projects in the world that I am perfectly capable of tackling.

The weather is lovely today, sunny and warm. I have a big load of laundry washed and hanging on the line on the porch. The sun is streaming into the living room, keeping us warm. It does get quite chilly at night now, under 10C, so having the house warm is very nice. The heat has not been turned on yet, so it is satisfying to arise in the morning to see the interior temperature has only dropped by 1C, or not dropped at all. Eventually the house will begin to cool, but not yet, we are holding steady at 22C, or warmer.

The lovely sunshine has the wasps in a frenzy. They fly around the windows constantly, bouncing off the glass from time to time with quiet thuds. In the last week I have killed three wasps that somehow got into the house. My theory on how they are entering, is that they have found gaps in the siding, and in the sheathing below it, and eventually make their way to the openings in the uninsulated walls, where they crawl around until they find a gap under the baseboards to get into the house. Their sting is quite nasty, something to avoid.

This morning I have been very busy, but this afternoon I did take some time to put my feet up and read. I am reading a book that is all one sentence, all 207 pages of it. It is written by Jon Fosse, and the title is A New Name: Septology VI-VII. Not a joyful piece of literature, but fascinating.

While I was reading Ginger came across the couch to see me, as my easy chair is next to the couch. After pawing for my attention, he settled in to stare at me, contentedly. We sat together that way for at least a half hour, him purring as I read, and making eyes at me when I paused to stare back at him. I love these moments of coexistence!

I’ve decided to make gummy bears with fruit juice. What inspires this is the desire to ingest gelatine. We don’t eat a lot of meat, and I am wondering if gelatine will mediate cardiovascular health. I am not about to increase my meat consumption, but I can increase my gelatine consumption without eating meat… gummy bears!

A recent purchase of 5 kg of blackstrap molasses needed to be stored in airtight jars. I thought to store it in the 1 ½ quart mason jars that I own, and found that they are all in use! A good thing really, it means that they are full of food that we can eat. But I really needed large mason jars for storing the molasses. It turns out the 1 ½ quart jars are vintage, no longer made or sold. What is available are 1.9 litre mason jars. So last night I took a quick run to the hardware store to purchase one of the two last boxes of those jars. There were six in a box. I use a lot of molasses, we like the taste in baking, and I love the taste in baked chocolate treats, such as muffins.

<health whinge>
I am hopefully on a waiting list to see a specialist about my cholesterol levels, a two year waiting list. In the meantime the problem is impacting other health issues. My NP has no further ideas on how to treat the issue. The vascular surgeon has stepped in on my behalf to recommend medications to be tried, thank goodness! It is discouraging to wait two years to get the help I need now, to minimize damage to my health, it is very frustrating. I imagine I won’t get the help I need in a timely manner, and that I will end up needing serious surgery in the next few years, probably before I get the appointment with the lipid specialist. I can really understand how people can just ignore health issues, bad news is bad enough, but wandering through a maze of cold rigid bureaucracy is crazy making.

Having a potentially life threatening condition is an interesting experience. I like to deal with difficult situations by looking at the whole picture, what is possible to what is likely, worst case to best case scenarios, and where I stand along that continuum at the moment. I adjusted to being told repeatedly that I’ll never have a problem with this health issue. So the sudden news that a problem is developing rather quickly comes as a bit of a shock, it was totally unexpected, based on the input from health care professionals.

So it took me a few days to adjust, and find my internal equilibrium. At first I wanted to just give up, eat whatever I want, do whatever I want, no restrictions. That is what I felt like doing. I indulged that a wee bit by treating myself to big bowl of popcorn, and a big glass of chocolate milk, which in reality is well within my restrictions. I also gave up on my daily stretches, and walks. I had a sleepless night. Now I’ve processed the news, come to terms with the level of danger I am living with, found my peace with it, and have returned to my normal eating and exercise habits. There are still a few stages of adjustment to navigate, but I am getting there. For now I am not in imminent danger, or shouldn’t be according to statistics.

I’d love to say that the health care people I’ve dealt with have been wonderful, but although they have been pleasant, and they may be doing their best, I would not use the word wonderful for the care I am receiving. I remain pleasant towards them at all times, it maximizes my chances of receiving good care.
</end of health whinge>

I think Ginger is looking out for me, sitting by my side, letting me know that he cares! Life is good.


Updated on Thu, Oct 12 at 3:25 PM
Wind 17 NW km/h
Humidity 44 %
Visibility 42 km
Sunrise 7:18 AM
Wind gust 25 km/h
Pressure 101.2 kPa
Ceiling 9100 m
Sunset 6:30 PM



“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”
551 BC – 479 BC

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Joan Lansberry

Two whole years to see a doctor! Wow! I hope there’ll be a cancellation and you’ll get in sooner!


I don’t understand why they’d make anyone wait 2 years for n appointment when you have a specific issue. But I’ve heard similar stories from friends who have had to wait 1 year or more for a visit to a specialist. (This is for testing recommended by a primary physician). I don’t understand what’s happened to our health care systems. I hope you get a cancellation too!


That is absolutely horrible that you have to wait at least 2 years for an appointment to see a doctor!! Praying for a cancellation! I do sweet eyes with one of my cats. Squint and smile and he squints back and I swear he smiles back, too.


Sorry you’ve been startled by a recent diagnosis. I’ve had a few of those, though none in recent times. Sending you *hugs*.

No recent diagnoses is a good thing for us as here at the new house as we don’t have a doctor. We made the mistake of following the recommended action of drop your doctor so the province can help you find a new one. Unfortunately, they can’t find any doctors either. We have gotten a lead on a new doctor and applied but we haven’t heard anything yet. I hope we can get in, there’s only one clinic here and they apparently have an exclusive contract with the town! We put our name in over at the clinic but at that time they had a 4 year waiting list. Now I hear they have a SIX year waiting list! That’s so wrong, having an exclusive contract when you refuse to grow in size to accomodate the increasing population!

I read some months ago that the province is the one controlling the number of doctors we have. They don’t want to pay more doctors so they limit how many spots there are in the medical schools and in the spots available. That’s outrageous with the increasing population, plus immigrants being added to increase payments into taxes. But we don’t get the services we’re paying for!