Watching the paint dry and the time fly…

Watching the paint dry and the time fly…

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Disheartening news this week, a dear, dear friend has lung cancer, he just found out on Tuesday, June 2, 2015, his right lung will be removed in the next few weeks. My heart embraces you brother.

I have decided to regard dying as the finish line. My loved ones, who broke the ribbon before me, have crossed their finish line, as on some unknown day I will cross my finish line. It makes sense to me, to regard crossing the finish line as an accomplishment, to see those who have passed it as standing in the winner’s circle, a crowd of happy energy.

That crowd of happy energy is something I actually believe in, not just hope for. Steve Paul Simms line “and we’ll all be together in the clover” comes to mind. I am not sure he wrote it as I hear it, but some phrases speak beyond one context.

Here it is Friday already.

This week has been busy:
– Using the graphics pen is becoming more intuitive as I play with it every day.
– An online tutorial from Adobe was discovered and followed, allowing the use of Adobe Acrobat Reader to sign PDF documents.
– The genealogy book is coming along, I have just received written permission from an author, to use extensive quotations from her book, in reference to the experiences my ancestors encountered emigrating from Scotland, and their experience after arriving in Quebec in 1820. She has done incredible research in primary documents, so there is no need to “reinvent the wheel”.
– The country house was shown again on Wednesday, still no nibbles.
– I mowed the lawn Wednesday, took me all afternoon; I slept soundly that night.
– It has been rough few days with the dentist, not happy with the work, so I keep going back. I find problems with work done in my mouth very hard to bear with good grace. Hopefully today will be my last trip into that office, and I will be able to remain calm and smiling despite ongoing problems with her work, fingers crossed.

Another doodle, using a colour scheme from an iris in the garden.
2015Mayirisoval

P.S. Time is flying but there is no paint drying.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

Little House in the City
14°C
Date: 7:00 AM EDT Friday 5 June 2015
Condition: Partly Cloudy
Pressure: 101.7 kPa
Tendency: falling
Visibility: 24 km
Temperature: 14.1°C
Dewpoint: 12.7°C
Humidity: 91%
Wind: SSE 13 km/h

Country House
16°C
Date: 7:03 AM EDT Friday 5 June 2015
Condition: Light Rain
Pressure: 101.6 kPa
Visibility: 15 km
Temperature: 15.8°C
Dewpoint: 14.4°C
Humidity: 91%
Wind: SSE 8 km/h

Quote

“It is an illusion that youth is happy, an illusion of those who have lost it; but the young know they are wretched for they are full of the truthless ideals which have been instilled into them, and each time they come in contact with the real, they are bruised and wounded.”
W. Somerset Maugham
1874 – 1965

[Angry, don’t forget angry, first towards their parents, who went along with the deception, and then with the world at large for leading their parents, and ultimately them, into such a compromise. Apparently I am not the only cynical person to have walked the earth, glad to know I am in good company.]

14 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Kate

Dental work, argggh! It’s bad enough when it works, let alone having to go back when it hasn’t. I’m grateful dentistry can do what it does, for sure, but still find it an ordeal. Even with the best of dental therapists (this is who I now trust with my teeth).

Bex Crowell

Isn’t is amazing that dental insurance coverage is something that is deemed “extra” and isn’t covered by normal coverages? I mean, aren’t teeth part of the body? If the teeth/mouth are sick, isn’t the rest of the body likely to be sick? I’ve never understood why they separate dental from other body-part health insurance. We don’t have any dental coverage, therefore, I don’t go at all. Paul dutifully pays out of pocket for every last thing dental-related. He is good, I am not.

Bex Crowell

When I wrote the above, I was speaking about the U.S. insurance coverage, I don’t know about Canadian…

Irene Bean

Great quote and editorial to it.

Great post. So many observations.

I agree with Bex regarding dental insurance in the states. It’s a joke. Very, very expensive with little coverage. I dropped my insurance years ago. My entire life I trotted off to the dentist for a 6 month check-up and cleaning. I have horrible teeth most likely inherited from my father who cautioned me within an inch of brushing all my tooth enamel off. With my IPF diagnosis I stopped going to the dentist and eye doctor. I thought there would be no point. When I outlived my doctor’s prognostic timeline and couldn’t see properly, I did spring for an exam and updated my glasses. I also went to the dentist and decided to do a procedure (I thought it was going to be a simple filling replacement) and walked out $400 poorer. Ugh!

Regarding your friend who is facing surgery. My thoughts are always streaming his way. There was a clutch in my heart as I read your words about dying. The thought of death conjures myriad thoughts and visions for each of us. I enjoy reading the insights of others, which give me new thoughts or validate my own. It’s odd that I never gave my own death much thought before my prognosis, which offered not even a slender glimmer of hope. Oddly, I never thought about others’ deaths either. I’ve never had much death in my own family… perhaps why I suffered so with my mother’s departure. Yet, I still didn’t apply the inevitable to myself.

A phone call from my daughter just distracted me from these comments and additional words. My most current post at JS addresses some thoughts I have about my own journey with dying.

TopsyTurvy (Teri)

I’m so sorry to hear about your friend’s illness. Sending best wishes and healing thoughts. And hugs to you, Maggie.

I’m having conflicts with my dentist also and, after feeling tortured for over a year and not going for the last 8 months, I find my mouth is in better shape than it was before. I need to get back there, though, and have a few things done. But that one hygienist is never cleaning my teeth again.

I do consider my childhood happy. Sure, there were times when learning about the adult world intruded and took off some of the shine, but for the most part my childhood (up to my mother’s death when I was 11) was very happy.

Having had a large extended family that included 3 generations before me, I’ve lived through many deaths, mostly at a distance. Now, I’m pretty much the only one left, so I don’t have much of a focus on death, anymore. My focus is more on being alone, which is hard enough.

Steve-Paul Simms

Thanks for the mention, Maggie. It’s SIMMS, by the way. Any interpretation will do, and that’s a good one.

Good health to your friend.

Irene Bean

Though concerned for your friend, I meant to type *already* not *always* – though healing thoughts will stream his way often. 🙂

NORA

Hi Maggie,

First I really, really like the doddle. It’s happy. It reminds me of Aboriginal art. I have a wonderful Tarot done by a few Aboriginal artists and the doodle could have been one of those cards.

Sorry to hear about your friend’s health challenge. Wishing him well.

I can appreciate dying as the finish line. I see it as a doorway into another dimension.

Good news regarding the permission of the author to use her quotes in your book.

Oh, dread the dentist. I am one of ‘those’. We are going to go to the dentist next month and scare her. We both need work done. I imagine even with insurance it will put us in the poor house for a bit. Hubby has good medical insurance that covers both eyes and dental.

I was to the eye doctor yesterday and fitted for a different pair of glasses. The frames were $165.00. My exam, new prescription, new frames all came to $68.00. I just could not believe it was so inexpensive.