Unusual Day

I am having an unusual day today. I am crying a lot, all kinds of things are bringing tears to my eyes. Good memories, thoughts of people I miss, places I’d like to be, sad situations that remain sad, observing kind things that people do, well, the list goes on. I am not feeling unhappy, or sad, or depressed, no, I just cry about things that come to mind. My thoughts are many, varied, brief, non-analytical, and very succinct.

Good grief, I am becoming dehydrated! I will have to pour myself a large juice and soda and sit quietly for a while.

Life is pretty good right now. Maybe I’ve just been letting these emotions pile up until the resulting tower tipped. Maybe it is the rain, which has been falling all day. Or maybe I don’t know why today is a river of tears day, and all I need to do is let the day flow by as it will. “I don’t know” is the only answer I have, and it works, because it is true.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

12°C
Date: 2:30 PM EDT Thursday 20 October 2016
Condition: Light Rain
Pressure: 101.9 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: 11.9°C
Dew point: 10.2°C
Humidity: 89%
Wind: NNE 12 km/h
Visibility: 16 km

Quote

“It’s also helpful to realize that this very body that we have, that’s sitting right here right now… with its aches and it pleasures… is exactly what we need to be fully human, fully awake, fully alive.”
Pema Chodron

9 Comments

  1. Sandy

    Aw I also hope you feel better. It sounds like it was a day of strong feelings. Sometimes we push things to the back of our minds and then other things happen and bring a flood of emotion. I think that’s healthy. But I also hope tomorrow is a happy day for you!

  2. Some of the rears were happy tears Bex, some of them were not, my emotions were all over the place, and not in one place for very long! Unhappiness for me is like a great weight in my heart, a knawing at my soul, and I definitely was not unhappy today.

  3. Thanks Sandy! Yes, I think you are right, it is healthy. When I was younger I used to think that there must be something wrong on the days I felt like this, but it was never clear just what the something was. I eventually figured out that giving myself to the experience meant I passed through it, instead of prolonging it by pushing it away. I don’t seem to get stuck in it, thank goodness, so tomorrow will probably be a happier day.

  4. Thanks Kate. The reasons are seldom obvious, but I have come to appreciate that my mind is not going to have a grip on everything that is going on inside my head and my heart. There is treasure buried in all of us, it is ourselves.

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