Life is a Gift, Yours and Mine

I love Christmas.

The older I get the more missing pieces there are in my world. Two of my brothers gone, a former partner gone, my Granny and Grandpa gone, and so many of my cherished friends gone. It is at Christmas that I most keenly miss these beloved people.

This morning I was having a good old cry, sitting with my coffee in hand, gazing at the lights on the Christmas tree. During childhood there was no sense of loss, there were no fond memories. It was all wonder, excitement, and belief in a systemic goodness in the world. Now the experience of Christmas has much more depth. It now includes the loss of loved ones, and the loss of hope in systemic goodness that was based on ignorance and innocence.

This morning I was thinking, and feeling, that what has developed over the years, for me, is a sense of Christmas gratitude. The tears, and sadness of loss, lead me into a sense of wonder, at how surrounded by love my life has been, and still is.

So I am going to accept these rising tears, as I think of all the lovely people I can no longer spend time with. These tears are the gentle rain of acceptance and gratitude for having had what I have lost.

This is a part of the Christmas season for me, and has been for a very long time. Years ago, my unsuccessful attempts to be “Merry” through this part of my Christmas have amplified the pain of loss. For me, opening up my heart at Christmas initiates memories, the accompanying emotions, and finally profound gratitude, and a deeper, richer kind of hope.

The apron project is progressing. The pockets are constructed and ready to be sewn onto the apron.

Worldly

Weather

Updated on Mon, Dec 18 at 9:17 AM
7°C
FEELS LIKE 3
Rain
Wind 20 NW km/h
Humidity 98 %
Visibility 7 km
Sunrise 7:38 AM
Wind gust 30 km/h
Pressure 99 kPa
Ceiling 7400 m
Sunset 4:30 PM

Quote

“Gratitude is born in hearts that take time to count up past mercies.”
Charles E. Jefferson
1860 – 1937

11 Comments
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WendyNC

Maggie, those are wonderful thoughts. Thank you for sharing them.

Eileen

Sending hugs to you, Maggie! Hoping the peace and love of Christmas settles over you.
Love…Cookie

Stubblejumpers Cafe

Thank you for that. I’m going to remember to be grateful for my loved ones, wherever they may be.
Love that pocket fabric.

Joan Lansberry

Lovely thoughts! A very blessed Christmas to you, with lots of rich memories and maybe a few new ones to add to the mix!

Teri

I had so many losses during the first 10 to 20 years of my life that I don’t have many people to lose anymore. I guess we’re almost opposites in this. I’ve now spent so many years without my loves that they don’t really hurt anymore.

What a balance, huh? You with fresh hurts that mean you had many more years of love and me with old hurts that are mostly gone but meaning I didn’t experience those loves for very long.

Merry Christmas to you, Artila and Ginger, Maggie…

Teri

Aack! Apologies for having misspelled “Attila”! Merry Christmas, all!