Tai Chi was a misery today. I can’t really keep up with the class, which doesn’t bother me at all. When something is difficult, I stop and watch. I might look confused, I am, and that is how I need to feel and look while I am figuring things out. I made no demands on anyone else, or on the pace of the lesson. When you have significant differences, it takes time to transform what you see, into what your body will actually do. I get there, at my own pace. Apparently, today, my own pace was not acceptable to one self-important female social engineer, who constantly directed me, interrupted my concentration and flow, and even told me I shouldn’t practise at home. What a know-it-all ass she was. I have been home from class for a few hours now, and I am still feeling annoyed! Can you tell?

I’ll try a different class next week and see how it goes.

It is sunny and beautiful here today, and warm, and windy. I enjoyed my drive to class, and my drive back.

It seems I did reach a turning point last week. Nothing has changed here at Mist Cottage, as far as I can tell, the change is within me. The holding pattern is doing just that, holding. It offers no particular hope, just each day of undisrupted existence, the present, nothing more. I am having trouble sleeping again, awakening at 1:30 a.m. most mornings, despite a consistent bedtime every evening. The insomnia will just have to be waited out, it was better for a while, now it isn’t, but hopefully it will be again soon. I continue to cycle through the different stages of grief, but the lows aren’t so low as they were.

I was supposed to do some banking at the end of last week, and I completely forgot about it. So this afternoon I headed over the bank, and managed to get the whole process completed. What a relief to get it all done, before I forget about it again. Now I can forget about it in peace.

I have been back at baking homemade 60% whole wheat bread. The first three pound loaf came out as a brick, it could have been used for a wall. The second loaf was much better. My loaves last one week, and by the end of the week the bread is very dry. I made bread yesterday, and this time I added 1 teaspoon of ascorbic acid powder. I notice a difference in the crumb, it is better, and the taste has improved, a subtle improvement. By the end of the week it will be evident if the ascorbic acid addresses the dryness issue.

Mom has been on the road since Saturday, and is due to arrive home today! She is driving herself home from Florida. It is so nice that the weather is decent for her journey, and to greet her as she returns to Ontario.

The spring equinox arrives in three weeks and one day!

Worldly Distractions


Date: 2:00 PM EST Monday 26 February 2018
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 102.1 kPa
Tendency: Rising
Temperature: 5.9°C
Dew point: -3.0°C
Humidity: 53%
Wind: W 21 gust 33 km/h
Visibility: 24 km


“I shut my eyes in order to see.”
Paul Gauguin
1848 – 1903

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Could you not slice your loaf and put it in the freezer and then take it out a slice at a time? That way you would always enjoy it fresh.

It defrosts very quickly a slice at a time, especially if you put it on an upended saucepan with a good conducting bottom.


So who died and left her in charge? I think you have better manners than I do. At best, she would have gotten the complete stop, utter silence, and the titled head with raised eyebrows. More likely, at this age, I’d have asked her the question in so many words.

Okay, if I am being totally honest here, I would probably have asked her who licked the red off her candy and why she trying to take it out on me. Being past sixty, I don’t put up with so much anymore.

I’ve been to China and seen Chinese people doing Tai Chi in the parks there. Funny how they don’t seem to have any problem with people doing what they can or modifying moves to handle what they can’t or just staying still. Based on my observation, you’re right and she’s wrong.


Glad you aren’t giving up on the Tai Chi because of Miss Know-it-all. If she wanted to help she could have simply asked you if you wanted her help. I’m sorry you have to live in this limbo that is your life now. I can imagine it is like waiting for the other shoe to drop and not knowing if it will or when it will. I admire you that you are being true to yourself and taking care of your needs. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Sending hugs, Maggie.:)

Joan Lansberry

It’s a shame that bossy lady bothered you! She should just mind her own business. I hope you can find a more peaceful class. I hope better sleep returns, soon, too.

Douwe Geluk

Greetings from Holland. Very good of you that you do not give up on Tai Chi ..

As i see it a class is never a misery but a way to free your mind.

Do not stress in Tai Chi just following the moves and do what you can is good enough. Dont try to remember just do….

Douwe Geluk
Tai Chi Apeldoorn
The Netherlands