Introvert

Another quiet, and cold day. It is now cold enough that I need to wear my knee warmer when I am out of doors, it really helps keep my arthritic knee from acting up. As soon as the temperature dips to freezing, the knee begins to ache, and if I am not careful it will move right on into inflammation.

Self-diagnosis is risky I know, but I think I may be an introvert. I haven’t been going for my walks lately, I just can’t seem to overcome all the little barriers (aka excuses) that I come up with for not getting myself out there. It is odd, because when we visit the Rideau Camp I am out of doors all day long, and I love it. When I lived in downtown Toronto I loved to walk about, every single day. Small neighbourhoods aren’t nearly so pleasant to travel along by foot, at least for me; they are more like running the gauntlet. I find it just so complicated to try and figure out who I can safely to say hello to, and who would rather be left alone; I end up greeting anyone I meet with a smile and a hello. This opens up the possibility of encountering males who take a friendly hello entirely the wrong way, which just creeps me out. The creepy male thing has happened to me more than once in other contexts, it is not an unfounded concern. And then there are the people who resent the greeting, there are two of those along my walk, one a man and one a woman; I think they hate everyone. At the Rideau Camp there is no superficiality to deal with, Attila and I just love being ourselves together at the Camp, and in Toronto people were busy living their own lives and saying hello, unless interaction was sought, just wasn’t something I had to worry about.

Our first autumn at the Rideau Camp.
DSCF0025

Having said all this I am reminded of my friend Em, who equally distrusted men and women. When I asked her who she felt she could relate to and trust, she immediately responded, “cats!” Pets are so much easier to deal with than other humans.

Maybe I am just weary to the bone, suffering overexposure to the worst in humans, as the US election campaign proceeds. The level of nastiness and unkindness is breathtaking.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

4°C
Date: 1:00 PM EDT Wednesday 26 October 2016
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 103.3 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: 3.7°C
Dew point: -6.3°C
Humidity: 48%
Wind: N 16 gust 30 km/h
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“Quiet people have the loudest minds.”
Stephen Hawking

“Introverts crave meaning so party chitchat feels like sandpaper to our psyche.”
Diane Cameron

“Let’s clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people.”
Laurie Helgoe

“Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again.”
Anais Nin

“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”
Susan Cain

9 Comments

  1. When I lived in Kelowna that year before Mom passed, I rarely went for a walk. Here in the country, especially in fair weather, hardly anything keeps me in. I never thought of it as being introversion but now that you say so, maybe that’s exactly what it is. I don’t like being “on view” and walking in town or city that’s exactly how I feel.

  2. Sandra

    I know exactly how you feel Maggie. Here in Ontario in suburbia I dread walking around the neighbourhood but when we are at our country home in Nova Scotia it is utter bliss to walk around the property. I can even go out to feed the birds in my nightie and wellies knowing no one can see me!

  3. Teri

    Much of the time I do feel that walking our neighborhood is running the gauntlet, but more because of the sameness of the view than anything else. We’re pretty lucky, our urban Ontario neighborhood and neighbors tend to be quite pleasant and will greet you as you go by. (There is one exception who is rather shrewish and even reports neighbors to bylaw enforcement and police for various infractions.)

    I can see where the US elections can wear people down. I’ve been so glad to see the end of the debates. It feels to me like things are finally winding down. Thank goodness!

  4. Funny you mention a fear of walking out amongst the population because the other day I was fantasizing about walking the whole length of New York City… just doing it slowly to get a feel for all the various neighborhoods and ethnicities of the people who live there… but then I had the abrupt vision of being mugged along the way, more than likely, and my dream ended. I was listening to Ray LaMontagne singing a song that may be called “New York City is Killing Me” (? not sure of the exact title), and although I have been to NYC on several occasions, I’ve never explored the entire city and wish that I had. Or wish that I could. I don’t think it would be practical now, especially since walking more than 2 minutes is difficult for me!

  5. Teri, your neighbourhood sounds like a very nice place to live. We too have a neighbour, two doors down from us, who reports people for what she considers infractions. When the water main broke in front of our house and their basement was leaking, she called and complained about us, that was the year we used a power washer to remove the old paint from the exterior siding. It wasn’t us of course, and the town discovered the leaking water main as a result of her complaint, so it ended well. She thinks we don’t know that she complained about us, and we let her go on thinking we don’t know. We are ready for her if she comes afer us again, which is much easier now that we live here. We have a few seniors here who are yard proud, lots of flowers and statues and what we think of as gaudy doo dads, and they want everyone to have yards like theirs… it is not to be.

    I am so glad it is winding down south of the border with their election. I can understand why people are so wound up about it all, but really, what is a Canadian senior citizen gonna do about it all.

    Also our neighbours on the side get their knickers in a twist when people do things they don’t like, such as put in a second legal driveway (not us thank goodness, at least not this time).

  6. Bex, I have never had the desire to visit New York City. A musician friend who live in Toronto told me she got tired of the pace in NYC and moved to Toronto for the slow pace of life. That convinced me that NYC wasn’t for me, Toronto is about as crowded and fast paced as I want to get.

    Of course I would reconsider this decision if I were to be staying with a good friend who knew the city and was willing to take the time to introduce me to its charms!

  7. TopsyTurvy (Teri)

    You’re right that there’s not much a non-US citizen can do about the US election, Maggie. (LOL! Unless you’re a hacker. ) Commentary on various forums is about as far as you can go. But this year, the entire mess did finally galvanize me into filing for absentee voter status. Thank goodness there was an online way to do that, so it made things a lot easier. I just had to send my ballot in by snailmail. Fortunately, they do also have feedback so you know when your ballot has arrived.

    I feel better, having voted. Until I moved to Canada I had voted in every presidential election from the time I was 18.

Comments are closed.