Ei tartte auttaa!

Ei tartte auttaa! translates into English as Do not need help!

Recently I read that this is a trait often found in Finnish males. AHA! This phrase describes exactly Attila’s approach to life. He does not enjoy working on projects with another person, as he regards input from others as “help”. Inanimate tools are his only companions when he works on a project. This means that he can tackle a project like the garage, and see it through to completion without any input or assistance from anyone else. This worked well as far as getting the garage project started and finished. That is the up side of this particular trait. There are downsides of course, but right now I am enjoying the up side.

Here it is Monday. I am sitting in my easy chair, contemplating the day. Dinner is planned, an Instant Pot Chili will be prepared on the back deck this afternoon. The ground beef is thawing on the counter, the kidney beans were cooked in the Instant Pot a few days ago, they are sitting in a jar in the refrigerator waiting to become an ingredient. The rest of the ingredients are assembled on the counter and waiting for their big event later today.

The kitchen is extremely cluttered at the moment. There is a backlog of mason jars, and kitchen equipment that is usually stored in the basement. The basement is in a state of flux, due to the garage project, which is to be expected. Rather than spend copious amounts of time moving things in the basement from one place to another, repeatedly, to get at storage areas. I am waiting until items start to migrate to the garage, then as things in the basement are moved they will be organized, and most will not need to be moved out of the way of other things again. The migration is coming soon!

The cluttered kitchen makes cooking, preparing snacks, and making lunches for work really challenging. I spend a lot of time moving things from one place to another to make room for this, then that, to get at this, then that. This will all change in the very near future, but for now things are piling up.

Another hot humid day out there. It rained a bit during the night, but it cleared and now the sun shines hot. More rain would be a very good thing for the garden, and all wildlife. There are wildfires burning all over central Ontario, some out of control, some under control. It was relief to know that there is a complete fire ban in both the municipality where Mist Cottages sits, and at the Rideau Camp. There is a community being evacuated in Parry Sound, Ontario, not too near our Traditional Camp property, a fire caused by humans. Most of the fires raging in Ontario, Canada, are related to lightning.

Today I am making some time for tears. Sometimes life’s sadnesses need a little recognition. The past is gone, but it is still a part of who I am today. So this morning I was thinking of my beautiful little brother who passed away two years ago this month. I shed a few more tears missing my former partner and friend Pat. I thought of other friends who have passed, missing them. I thought of my Granny and Grandpa, missing them. I also let myself shed some tears as I explored the current state of my feelings about the terrible, terrible mistake Attila made last fall and winter. It does me no good to push these feelings away, nor does it any good to get lost in them. For me, the middle ground is the best route forward. I carry on, and occasionally pause for a feeling fest, where any feelings that need to be heard are allowed to see the light of day, they are felt to fullest, honoured, respected, and then it is back to carrying on, “damn the torpedos” so to speak. This is how I deal with trauma and grief.

Having allowed trauma and grief their due, a bottleneck of other emotions rush into my world. Music reaches further, kindness rings louder and truer, colours glow brighter, aromas pierce the senses, being alive becomes a cornucopia. My life is about the taking the bad with the good.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

24°C
Date: 8:00 AM EDT Monday 23 July 2018
Condition: Light Rainshower
Pressure: 101.6 kPa
Tendency: Rising
Temperature: 23.7°C
Dew point: 21.6°C
Humidity: 88%
Wind: ESE 11 km/h
Humidex: 33
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“Cry at night. Be a force by day.”
Can’t find the reference!

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6 Responses to Ei tartte auttaa!

  1. WendyNC says:

    Maggie, I think we get better at grieving as we get older–simply because the older we get, the more practice we’ve had.

  2. Wendy, so true! “Come what may” has become increasingly meaningful.

  3. My “emotional self” was very shy when I first began meditations that were intended to help me connect more consciously with various aspects of myself. She would disappear deep into a forest of jungly green! I was quite surprised to learn what I did about this aspect of my character, which I had often pooh-poohed as “just feeling sorry for myself” or “just addicted to drama” and so on. I needed to acknowledge and respect my emotions. I’m still working on that, but “she” trusts me a little more now. And she LOVES animals! Who knew!
    It’s great to read about how you manage your emotions. I learn something from it. I’ve never thought of taking a “day” to indulge, but maybe I’ll try it. -Kate

  4. Kate, thanks for sharing how you deal with the emotional side of life! Emotions can be a challenge! Sometimes I wish that I could just carry on as if they did not exist, but that can lead to tectonic events, as ultimately they cannot be denied.

    I am not one bit surprised that you LOVE animals, you always write about them with such deep respect and concern.

  5. Periodically, we need a day like that, just to let grief process. *hugs*

  6. Joan, yes, processing time describes it. ((hugs))