always been one to wander off in my
own direction, physically, spiritually,
This is a trait much touted in our culture as rugged individualism. In the real world it is rarely perceived by others as a desirable characteristic, at least in a woman. This is a paradox.
Once, when camping at a First Nations Reserve Campground, with a group of friends, we went for a hike. I enjoyed sharing the experience with my compatriots, but soon found myself wandering off in an altogether different direction, on my own.
At one point I stood on a rock cliff overlooking Lake Huron. The view was breathtaking and the experience deeply moving. Without thinking I picked up a soft stone and "drew" a small design on the surface of the granite rock face. It was my way of "talking" to the ancients.
That experience lasted a short time, measured in minutes. I'd not thought about it since, until this morning. My little design will have been worn away by the weather and now only exists in my memory. A temporary act, a temporary memory and now a temporary record.
I think that this journal is much like my design on that ancient rock. A temporary voice in the wilderness, attempting only to exist for existence sake.
My little job still exists, but to a very limited degree. I will be working tomorrow, going in for one very long ten hour shift. It is exhausting, but that is the nature of business in the area where we live. Boom or bust, one must take advantage of the short business season if one is survive.
I am feeling very frustrated waiting on the few external administrative processes that have bottlenecked my own business activies. Impatience is one of my weaknesses. I recognize this, and yet here I sit, impatient as ever!
This waiting has a very positive side to it though. I've been inspired to seek closure on a number of my own projects that were waiting for completion. I have been the only one waiting on their completion.
The genealogy book, created from commissioned research, that I've been working on for two years, is now a completed project. The book is now printed. The book now has an ISBN number. The book is now registered with the Collections Canada catalogue and will soon be available to libraries for purchase. All this I accomplished over the last two days, focusing my frustrated energies on what I can accomplish at the moment.
Today is a bread-baking day. We need a little extra because Terra and Lares are visiting this weekend. Something to look forward to, to be sure.
The sun has been shining brightly for the last few days, but it has been too cool to keep the windows open, even during the day. This morning is bright and cool again, 6 C. The predicted high today is 22 C.
I think I need to spend time sitting in the screened porch, listening to the trees. The trees have a lot to say about impatience.
|RECIPES :: Cast
Camera batteries dead again! Twelve hours to charge for 30 minutes use. How long do rechargable mAH batteries last anyway! I guess I'd better start saving my pennies for new ones! It is now on the list.
By The Easy Chair
by Jane Urquhart
"Humble because of knowledge; mighty by sacrifice."
11 °C Clear
Wind: SE 7km/h
Relative Humidity: 66%
Pressure: 101.52 kPa
Visibility: 14.0 km
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