Here are a few of my favorite online haunts:
[This is the site I visit to fantasize about
living in Toronto again, which is almost
day during the winter]
Jonathan Cainer's Zodiac Forecasts
[This is where I visit in the morning, when
I need a positive spin on things past, present
[This is where I go to see what Canadians
are up to, sometimes I even buy things from
the businesses listed there.]
Environment Canada Weather
[This is the site I visit every morning,
and before every road trip during the winter]
were a few small warning signs, touches of irritability
over inconsequential matters and an irritating twitch
just under my left eye.
When I lay my head on the pillow last night I had no
idea what was ahead of me. At 3:30 a.m. I looked over
at the clock and thought, "will this night never end!"
I did drift off to sleep sometime after 4:00 a.m., but
since we rise at 5:20 a.m., there wasn't much time for
There was nothing troubling me, nothing in particular
on my mind. Same old problems, same old challenges,
same old life. What had changed, I believe, is that
the cumulative effect of isolation had finally tipped
my balance and a full blown case of cabin fever emerged
over the course of one day.
I think what tipped the balance were two consecutive
telephone conversations with someone who
laid out their political parties imperatives, and aggresively
sought my agreement. Their intent was not harmful. I
tried to change the subject, as I don't like discussing
agree with everything that anyone else says and do not
feel a need to have them agree with anything I believe.
I weathered the first conversation feeling only irritated.
me feeling under seige; and I was forced to gently offer
a differing opinion, which seemed to offend. Free speech
has to be mutual to live up to its own definition.
Not much to be done about cabin fever though, "there
ain't no cure". I will get out of the house on Thursday
the library. The trips to the library have slowed the
advance of cabin fever, but cannot halt it altogether.
Usually, at this point, I begin to try to help myself.
At least that is what I think I am doing.
I apply for
work in the big city, which has not so far resulted
I am too
from the networks that provide easy access to employment
offering a livable wage. I apply for work locally, when
there are jobs advertised that I could actually manage;
this year there are no local jobs listed in the papers
or on the internet that I could manage. Our car supports
Attila's employment, which is regular at the moment
and cannot be put at risk to accomodate the odd hours
demanded by low wage employment. Low
end jobs will not support a car. It goes in circles.
I've given this tactic a fair chance, for five long
years. This year I am not going to send out hopeless
Another tactic I tried last year was to join an organization
based on mutual interest, my allergy. It turned out
there were no groups close enough for access. It was
suggested to me that I could start up my own group.
The area where I live is not populated enough to
support a group. I came up with the idea of
creating a forum for those isolated, under the auspices
of the organization I had joined. They said it was a
wonderful idea and they would get back to me. They never
did, and never will. Again, that tactic deepened and
quickened the effects of cabin fever.
This year I have contacted another organization to see
if there is any possibility of serving my community
under their auspices. They were very friendly, and
said they would get back to me. I have no confidence
that this will occurr and fear I've made another error
in judgement, that will deepen and quicken the effects
of cabin fever.
I'm not sure I'll give this second tactic, volunteerism,
a full five years of disappointment, before abandoning
realms of been there, done that.
So, I am sitting here looking out at the beautiful landscape,
wondering at the seemingly insurmountable gap between
what organizations say they are doing and what they
actually are able to accomplish. Shocking really, the
Mist sleeps, I fantasize, snow falls and the day will
I do have another tactic up my sleeve though: macaroni
and cheese! Attila was very pleased to find a hot plate
of fresh homemade mac n cheese waiting for him. It really
is comfort food, really.
|RECIPES :: Cast
The descent of snow. The sky is still up there, it just cannot
be seen, for now.
words and music by
John Wort Hannam
On The Screen
Pyramids Designed for Eternity
Secrets of Archeology Series
By The Easy Chair
Dragonfly in Amber
by Diana Gabaldon
"All that is active, all that is enveloped in time and space,
is endowed with what might be described as an abstract, ideal
and absolute impermeability."
Condition: Light Snow
Pressurey: 101.1 kPa
Visibility: 11.3 km
Humidity: 78 %
Wind Chill: -20
Wind: SE 5 km/h