December 20, 2001

Hiding the Evidence



Here are a few of my favorite online haunts:
[This is the site I visit to fantasize about living in Toronto again, which is almost every single day during the winter]

Jonathan Cainer's Zodiac Forecasts
[This is where I visit in the morning, when I need a positive spin on things past, present and future.]

Living Local
[This is where I go to see what Canadians are up to, sometimes I even buy things from the businesses listed there.]

Environment Canada Weather
[This is the site I visit every morning, and before every road trip during the winter]

The little silver wrappers that littered the desk just behind my keyboard have disappeared; swept away by hope that the memory of their contents would follow them into obscurity.

Controlling my obsession is hard work; or is it an addiction? It is hard to tell really. Whatever moniker this preoccupation wears; it is a force to be reckoned with.

The object of my desire is chocolate. I am afflicted with a chocolate obsession. It is not even possible to romanticize this condition. It is a common, run-of-the-mill, ordinary, everyday obsession.

Observe the environment. Rows of chocolate bars tempt the devotee at every corner shop and grocery store. Shops devoted entirely to the sale of chocolate lure, and seduce as surely as the Sirens of Odysseus' time. Chocolate is everywhere.

I have developed immunity to publicly displayed chocolate. It is a form of denial. I do not see the packages and I do not smell the enticing aroma. Fortunately, there are usually less desirable items for sale at most retail establishments. I concentrate on those items. This works well. Few purchases of any kind are made because my attentions are focused on products I do not really want.

These techniques fail completely however, when chocolate passes through the doors and into the sanctity of my home. It is here that the full force of my problem exerts itself. You see I know the chocolate is there. Every random thought and every meander from a task at hand leads to the same place, the place where the chocolate waits. No matter how determined my resolve, I will seek out the chocolate and I will consume it. I will consume it all.

Attila was heading out to the grocery store last night, when I was seized with an urge, an urge for chocolate. The situation was ideal as far as obsession management is concerned. I would not actually be in the store, so that the act of selection could not tempt me into a chocolate buying frenzy.

"Just a tiny bit of chocolate, Attila, that is all I need. Just a tiny bit."

Attila suggested chocolate ice cream, his favorite.

"We could serve it as a treat at Christmas dinner," he offered hopefully.

I smiled sadly at Attila, aware of how much he likes chocolate ice cream. It just would not do. There was no possibility whatsoever that a tub of chocolate ice cream would last until Christmas Day. I would seek it out and I would consume it. I would consume it all.

Reluctantly I rejected Attila's suggestion.

"There are disadvantages to living with addicts, the ice cream idea just will not work." I said.

The full power of tolerance and love shone in our kitchen at that moment. Attila grinned.

"Just a little bit of chocolate, yes, I see," he said.

Later, after Attila had gone out to and come back from the store, I was presented with a handful of glittering, foil wrapped treasures. That is how those little silver wrappers came to litter my desk, just behind my keyboard.

It was wonderful; and now it is time to forget, until the wild desire for chocolate again rises from the depths of denial.

Denial can be good thing, even a necessary thing.

You see Attila did not realize that I heard the bag rustle. I heard him stealthily descend the basement stairs when he first arrived home from the grocery store. I heard the squeak of the freezer lid as it opened and closed.

We will not speak of such things. It did not happen.

On Christmas Eve, before I go to bed, I will set out a glass of milk and a plate of cookies for Santa. I do want to show him that I appreciate the chocolate ice cream he will leave in our freezer.

Top of Page

Worldly Distractions

Glass Christmas Ornament
A Little Tradition

By the Easy Chair
Learning UNIX
by James Gardner
(Warning: nap enabling)

Luciano Pavarotti
O Holy Night
with the National Philharmonic Orchestra

11:58 EST
Temp: -1` C
Humidity: 86%
Wind: W 26 km/h
Barometric:101.1 kPa

Sunrise 7:52 AM EST
Sunset 4:52 PM EST

Page by Page: A Woman's Journal
by Maggie Turner

Canadian Maggie Turner writes and publishes poetry, photography, and a personal journal online. Her work reflects the current way of life in Canada, embracing Canada's past, present, and future in a unique portrayal of everyday life. Maggie's voice is one of the many that actively depict the rich diversity of Canadian culture.

Photography: "a term which comes from the Greek words photos (light) and graphos (drawing). A photograph is made with a camera by exposing film to light in order to create a negative. The negative is then used in the darkroom to print a photograph (positive) onto light-sensitive paper.
Source: University of Arizona Glossary

Poetry: "a form of speech or writing that harmonizes the music of its language with its subject. To read a great poem is to bring out the perfect marriage of its sound and thought in a silent or voiced performance. At least from the time of Aristotle's Poetics, drama was conceived of as a species of poetry."
Source: Creative Studios

Journal: " "Though a journal may be many things - a treasury, a storehouse, a jewelry box, a laboratory, a drafting board, a collector's cabinet, a snapshot album, a history, a travelogue..., a letter to oneself - it has some definable characteristics. It is a record, an entry-book, kept regularly, though not necessarily daily.... Some (entries) will be nearly illegible, written in the dark in the middle of the night.... Not only is it a record for oneself, but of oneself. Every memorable journal, any successful journal, is honest. Nothing sham, phony, false...." (Dorothy Lambert from Ken Macrorie's book, Writing to be Read )
A journal is a way to keep track of your thoughts about what you read... as well as what you did on any given day."
Source: Journal Writing

A Blog is an online journal created by server side software, often hosted by a commercial interest.

"The term "weblog" was coined by Jorn Barger[4] on 17 December 1997. The short form, "blog," was coined by Peter Merholz, who jokingly broke the word weblog into the phrase we blog in the sidebar of his blog in April or May 1999.[5][6][7] Shortly thereafter, Evan Williams at Pyra Labs used "blog" as both a noun and verb ("to blog," meaning "to edit one's weblog or to post to one's weblog") and devised the term "blogger" in connection with Pyra Labs' Blogger product, leading to the popularization of the terms."

Copyright 1999 - Today Maggie Turner
All rights reserved.

Privacy Policy

:: ::