June 15, 2001

It's all in my head.



Here are a few of my favorite online haunts:
[This is the site I visit to fantasize about living in Toronto again, which is almost every single day during the winter]

Jonathan Cainer's Zodiac Forecasts
[This is where I visit in the morning, when I need a positive spin on things past, present and future.]

Living Local
[This is where I go to see what Canadians are up to, sometimes I even buy things from the businesses listed there.]

Environment Canada Weather
[This is the site I visit every morning, and before every road trip during the winter]

Sometimes life is full of excitement and wonder. In my experience, this state of affairs is not really a function of external circumstances. It is true that the environment can work to dull the excitement and mask the wonder. External factors can also completely obliterate exuberance during times of crisis and loss. Most of the time though, I have found that the wonder of being alive channels itself into my life through mundane affairs. Perhaps I am just one of the lucky ones, but that is speculation since I have not been anyone else.

I awoke at 4:15 a.m. this morning, my head full of exciting plans. Unable to return to the land of Nod, I arose at 5:05 a.m. Attila had left the house at 4:00 a.m. and left a pot of coffee on the counter; I helped myself to a steaming mug and headed out to the backyard. The temperature and humidity have been very high of late, so that the cool breeze that caressed the bare skin of my arms was very welcome. The coffee was delicious. The sound of traffic had not yet begun, allowing me to hear the soft shushing of the leaves. The paint factory over the way was not emitting any noxious fumes that early in the morning, leaving the air gentle with the scent of earth and greenery.

Life is good.

And what are these exciting plans that fill my head and interrupt my sleep?

There is no south sea cruise on my horizon. Spending sprees are out of the question. Today I will receive no honors or accolades.

What has captured my imagination at the moment is of interest to no one that I personally know.

I am installing UNIX on Marjory today, or at least I am going to give it my best shot.

Not your average source of joy I know. But I am having a wonderful time. It is not going smoothly, but that is just part of the fun. You see I do not need UNIX; I just want it. If I needed it the problems would loom large and frustrate me. Just wanting to install UNIX means that I can take my time and wander around the concepts at my leisure. I can follow logical dead ends and investigate my own false assumptions to exposure. I am exploring. I am playing. I am having fun wandering in a new frontier.

The appeal of such a project is idiosyncratic to the time and the place in which I find myself. My entire life has consisted of putting the needs of others before my own. Some of this was appropriate; my children needed and deserved that from me during their vulnerable years. Old habits, however, are difficult to break. People who have been served in the past do not relinquish their expectations automatically. I find it necessary to make myself unavailable in order to provide others with the experiences they need for self-sufficiency.

No one is willing or interested in following me into UNIX. There I walk alone, as now I must walk alone. It is a pragmatic choice, as I am still available to the family if circumstances warrant my presence. Of course, I would much rather be backpacking across Australia. Not now, not yet, perhaps not ever. I will have many choices in the future.

I am an adventurer in my own mind.

Top of Page

Worldly Distractions

Sage Blooms, Purple
A Colorful Riot

By the Easy Chair
Disk Operating System:
User's Guide and Reference, IBM
(A worthy volume rescued from a dumpster.)

The hum of motors and fans and cool air rushng past my ears. (Air Conditioning!)

5:22 PM DST
Temp: 29` C
Humidity: 58%
Wind: SE 24 mph
Barometric:101.1 kPa

Sunrise 5:44 AM DST
Sunset 9:05 PM DST

Page by Page: A Woman's Journal
by Maggie Turner

Canadian Maggie Turner writes and publishes poetry, photography, and a personal journal online. Her work reflects the current way of life in Canada, embracing Canada's past, present, and future in a unique portrayal of everyday life. Maggie's voice is one of the many that actively depict the rich diversity of Canadian culture.

Photography: "a term which comes from the Greek words photos (light) and graphos (drawing). A photograph is made with a camera by exposing film to light in order to create a negative. The negative is then used in the darkroom to print a photograph (positive) onto light-sensitive paper.
Source: University of Arizona Glossary

Poetry: "a form of speech or writing that harmonizes the music of its language with its subject. To read a great poem is to bring out the perfect marriage of its sound and thought in a silent or voiced performance. At least from the time of Aristotle's Poetics, drama was conceived of as a species of poetry."
Source: Creative Studios

Journal: " "Though a journal may be many things - a treasury, a storehouse, a jewelry box, a laboratory, a drafting board, a collector's cabinet, a snapshot album, a history, a travelogue..., a letter to oneself - it has some definable characteristics. It is a record, an entry-book, kept regularly, though not necessarily daily.... Some (entries) will be nearly illegible, written in the dark in the middle of the night.... Not only is it a record for oneself, but of oneself. Every memorable journal, any successful journal, is honest. Nothing sham, phony, false...." (Dorothy Lambert from Ken Macrorie's book, Writing to be Read )
A journal is a way to keep track of your thoughts about what you read... as well as what you did on any given day."
Source: Journal Writing

A Blog is an online journal created by server side software, often hosted by a commercial interest.

"The term "weblog" was coined by Jorn Barger[4] on 17 December 1997. The short form, "blog," was coined by Peter Merholz, who jokingly broke the word weblog into the phrase we blog in the sidebar of his blog in April or May 1999.[5][6][7] Shortly thereafter, Evan Williams at Pyra Labs used "blog" as both a noun and verb ("to blog," meaning "to edit one's weblog or to post to one's weblog") and devised the term "blogger" in connection with Pyra Labs' Blogger product, leading to the popularization of the terms."

Copyright 1999 - Today Maggie Turner
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