June 5, 2001

Lost Dreams and Warm Hearts



Here are a few of my favorite online haunts:

[This is the site I visit to fantasize about living in Toronto again, which is almost every single day during the winter]

Jonathan Cainer's Zodiac Forecasts
[This is where I visit in the morning, when I need a positive spin on things past, present and future.]

Living Local
[This is where I go to see what Canadians are up to, sometimes I even buy things from the businesses listed there.]

Environment Canada Weather
[This is the site I visit every morning, and before every road trip during the winter]

Well, I am once again dictating into my head set. I had abandoned doing this while learning to use Quicken and installing Windows98 on Marjory. Upon returning to dictation I find that my speech habits are sloppy and I must begin afresh to accustom myself to enunciating clearly.

Personal growth continues to plague me.

Today I am facing the fact that we cannot always have what we want. There is an element in my personality that firmly believes that if you want something badly enough it can be attained. What is becoming painfully obvious to me, is that there are limits to understanding and therefore to the ability to want effectively. What I have wanted is quite reasonable and desirable, it is something many people possess and take for granted, but for me it has never been practical. Like love, desire is blind.

I am stubborn and do not relinquish my aspirations easily or gracefully. However, after many years, the light of the truth has finally dawned on this particular issue. Abandoning a dream requires a period of grieving. Today I grieve.

The weather remains cool and the skies remain gray. It is a good day for grieving, as sunny skies are predicted later in the week. As there are limits to understanding there are also limits to grief.

Our neighbor Grace was rushed to the hospital last night, suffering from severe chest pains. She has had several heart attacks over the last few years. Because I am not next of kin, information about the state of her health is unavailable from the hospital. However, the nurses informed me that I might visit her during visiting hours and gave me her room number. I can surmise from this information that she is alive and well enough to receive visitors. This is good news.

On a bright note as well, Attila's commitments have lessened for a few weeks. His smiling face will be seen morning, noon, and night, for two whole and consecutive days this coming weekend. If the sun shines and temperatures rise, I really could not ask for more.

On my desk is a postcard. On the postcard is printed a lovely and appealing scene. Edinburgh Castle sits high above the city that spreads out at its feet. The winter sunrise, or perhaps it is a sunset, casts a surreal and rosy glow on the castle promontory and on the church spires reaching skyward from below. Steve Paul sent this postcard from Scotland last month. He traveled there with his sister, to spend time in the land where Alison spent her last days. He wrote that Alison was everywhere, as I gaze at the card his feeling travels across time and space to my heart. Such a friend is a treasure.

Top of Page

Worldly Distractions

Edinburgh Castle, Winter
From a Distance

By the Easy Chair
Adobe Photoshop 5.0
User Guide

I'm Not Trying to Forget You Anymore
Willie Nelson, "Spirit"

2:22 PM DST
Temp: 18` C
Humidity: 64%
Wind: W 4 mph
Barometric:102.0 kPa

Sunrise 5:46 AM DST
Sunset 8:59 PM DST

Page by Page: A Woman's Journal
by Maggie Turner

Canadian Maggie Turner writes and publishes poetry, photography, and a personal journal online. Her work reflects the current way of life in Canada, embracing Canada's past, present, and future in a unique portrayal of everyday life. Maggie's voice is one of the many that actively depict the rich diversity of Canadian culture.

Photography: "a term which comes from the Greek words photos (light) and graphos (drawing). A photograph is made with a camera by exposing film to light in order to create a negative. The negative is then used in the darkroom to print a photograph (positive) onto light-sensitive paper.
Source: University of Arizona Glossary

Poetry: "a form of speech or writing that harmonizes the music of its language with its subject. To read a great poem is to bring out the perfect marriage of its sound and thought in a silent or voiced performance. At least from the time of Aristotle's Poetics, drama was conceived of as a species of poetry."
Source: Creative Studios

Journal: " "Though a journal may be many things - a treasury, a storehouse, a jewelry box, a laboratory, a drafting board, a collector's cabinet, a snapshot album, a history, a travelogue..., a letter to oneself - it has some definable characteristics. It is a record, an entry-book, kept regularly, though not necessarily daily.... Some (entries) will be nearly illegible, written in the dark in the middle of the night.... Not only is it a record for oneself, but of oneself. Every memorable journal, any successful journal, is honest. Nothing sham, phony, false...." (Dorothy Lambert from Ken Macrorie's book, Writing to be Read )
A journal is a way to keep track of your thoughts about what you read... as well as what you did on any given day."
Source: Journal Writing

A Blog is an online journal created by server side software, often hosted by a commercial interest.

"The term "weblog" was coined by Jorn Barger[4] on 17 December 1997. The short form, "blog," was coined by Peter Merholz, who jokingly broke the word weblog into the phrase we blog in the sidebar of his blog Peterme.com in April or May 1999.[5][6][7] Shortly thereafter, Evan Williams at Pyra Labs used "blog" as both a noun and verb ("to blog," meaning "to edit one's weblog or to post to one's weblog") and devised the term "blogger" in connection with Pyra Labs' Blogger product, leading to the popularization of the terms."
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_blogging

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