Where has the time gone? It has been days since I last wrote an entry here. Some of that time has been pleasant, most not. This was the last week of school for "The Teenager". Things have been catching up to her this week and she is not a happy girl. When she is not happy, we are not happy, because she loves to share. I am truly glad that this short period has passed me by.
The weather has been lovely, warm, and only a little humid. The Calendula was overtaking the Nasturtiums and so I pulled about a hundred Calendula plants. Not wanting to waste this green bounty, I began to plant Calendula wherever dirt was visible. It is now flourishing in the patio boxes, underneath the Rhubarb, and around the Pin Cherry shrubs. Yesterday it looked quite limp; today some of it is perking up and ready to conquer the earth.
I have taken on a campaign against door to door "give it heres". These people want me to part with my cash, sometimes with my soul. Some would like me to purchase a service they know will fulfill my life. Others would like me to donate to charities that I have never heard of, and neither has anyone else. Still others would like me to see the error of my spiritual ways and become a devotee of their beliefs.
There is an endless stream of these people who want from me. The last few weeks I have been decidedly abrupt when called to the door to explain my lack of shared interest. I have been ridiculed, cajoled, and, criticized. I found that I enjoyed being abrupt with these cash seekers. I worried for my mortal soul. I fretted over my bad behavior. I wondered over my lack of remorse.
Then a solution came to me, a sign. Yes, a sign, No Soliciting. Why yes, exactly the thing. I immediately printed up a letter size sheet of paper with a very large, bold, underlined NO. Underneath that are the smaller, bold letters SOLICITING. Therefore, they have been warned, those poor souls who earn their daily bread by intruding on my personal space.
I have been waiting and waiting, still no solicitors have knocked on my door. Perhaps no hearty "give it heres" have entered the neighborhood since the sign was posted. Perhaps it has effectively warned those who truly would like to sell their product that there will be no sale here. I do not know. I am waiting.
I have thought through my strategy, developed a plan. I will open the inner door, leave the screen door locked. I will glare crankily through the glass and say, "Is there an emergency?" If the answer is no, or even a creative variation of no, I will mutter "Can't you read!" while pointing to the sign. I will retreat quickly, slamming the door behind me. I can not wait. This getting old business has it charms.
The week has been blissfully free of consumer issues.
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