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Dear Me

By Maggie Turner


November 13, 1999

Dear Me

maggie embossed

11:56 a.m. Am I totally honest in this journal? Yes and no.

Yes, I am honest in that what I write here reflects what I really think, feel and do. No effort is made to fictionalize or romanticize the entries in this journal.

That was a picture of my chair yesterday, I did give birth to The Teenager and I am not taller than Attila is (even if I think I am).

No, I am not totally honest in this journal. Just because raw concepts and emotions exist does not mean they are processed enough to write down. I do write a lot of "pulp" to myself, the dear me writings. These "pulp" writings are stream of consciousness, emotive outpourings. The purpose of these outpourings is to move the emotion from the deep unknown regions of my inner self to a place where it can be examined. This writing wanders from concept to concept, feeling to feeling without explaining the why and the wherefore. No attempt is made to be logical, consistent, fair or coherent. My "pulp" writing represents the raw material of me, a part of me that I am not willing to share or explain. The part of me that my mind and soul will work with to create writing that expresses what I am. "Pulp" writings would be as interesting as looking at a box of oil paints belonging to Picasso. Before the colors are mixed and the paint applied to canvas the creative force is not fully present.

When representing one's reality it is important to remember that the complexity of life and universe does not allow a full description. What we can organize and commit to the written word is a partial rendering at best. In addition it is important to remember that each person will select events and construct meaning from them in their own way. This is what makes human existence a true frontier, populated with explorers and mapmakers. Literature, great or small, is the mutable landscape of human existence.


 

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