Sweet

The weather was overcast all weekend, snow fell on Saturday, but only a few isolated flurries. It was good weather for a journey, and on Saturday we left Mist Cottage at about 8:00 a.m., to make our way to a Christmas get together at my Sister-The-Youngest-Girl’s house. The weather was perfect for travelling, both on the way there, and on the way home again, our easiest trip ever in regards to road conditions and traffic.

On Saturday my two sisters, their husbands, my Mom, and Attila and I, sat down to a Christmas feast. There was roast turkey, dressing, four vegetables, and condiments, followed by apple pie, lemon meringue pie, date squares, chocolate chip cookies, and ice cream. My Sister-The-Youngest-Girl cooked the meal, and I helped with the dressing. The meal was cooked without salt, and it was so very delicious, I didn’t miss the salt at all. I think my taste buds have completely adjusted to the low sodium diet, most foods taste good without any salt added. The desserts were my downfall, I had a serving of everything on offer, and enjoyed every single bite! What a good time we had! Mom, my sisters, and I, worked on a jig saw puzzle in the dining room, through the evening. The “fellas” watched a hockey game.

This morning, unable to resist temptation, I enjoyed a serving of each kind of dessert. What a breakfast! At home we don’t keep sweets in the house, and no longer eat dessert, so this was my big chance to “have it all”, so I did, lol.

Over the last month or so I have been working on a pair of slippers to give my mom for Christmas. Her feet get cold sometimes, so I decided she needs foot blankets. I found a pattern and used the same yarn that I purchased to make the water balloons for the Grandbabies.

DSCF1651 Foot blankets for my Mom, aka slippers.

My sisters, Mom, and I, had our Christmas get together rather early this year, because Mom is heading for Florida, any day now. She will drive from Ontario, Canada, to Florida, by herself. She has done this for many years, except for the last two when she was sorting out health issues. She is ready to roar once again, and is busy getting her gear ready to go. We loved being able to see her before she leaves!

I talked with Luna on the weekend, she recently had a birthday. She is well, and was telling me that they will be spending Christmas in Quebec, because Janus works through Christmas, and he is stationed out of Quebec at the moment, so Luna and Imp and Elf and Tink are going there so they can all be together for Christmas. We might see them as they pass by on their way home after Christmas.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

-1°C
Date: 5:00 PM EST Sunday 10 December 2017
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 100.9 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: -0.7°C
Dew point: -7.7°C
Humidity: 59%
Wind: WSW 31 gust 40 km/h
Wind Chill: -8
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”
Benjamin Franklin
1706 – 1790

Fractured Health Care Delivery

I have been observing lately, and at times very close to home, that lapses in judgement happen to everyone. I have my own list. For some of these incidences on my list, there were no good choices to be made, so it is down to wondering if a different choice might have been a better one. For most lapses though, hindsight allows me to consider alternative options that might have been better choices on my part, if not in outcome, then at least for my conscience. My feeling, at this point in my life, is that I am better to go with what my conscience allows, rather than what others expect, or what seems logical at the time.

It is never a good idea to give other people’s opinions, or your head, full reign over your decisions and actions. A balance must be worked out between your heart and your head, and often this requires hard work.

The weather has turned cold. The dawn was sunless. The weather people are predicting snow squalls with serious visibility issues for driving this afternoon, which should be in full swing as Attila makes his commute home from work. It looks like the snow shovel might come out for the first time since last March.

Plans this week have not worked out well. A night out was cancelled due to warnings of imminent snow squalls that did not materialize. My plans to visit a medical clinic tonight will have to go on hold, snow squalls again. Saturday is supposed to be much better though, with only snow flurries predicted.

I continue to work on my Plan B, it is taking shape, the thoughts and feelings around needing it are beginning to feel familiar, and not so scary. I continue to search for a counsellor. Every day I call and leave a message with a counsellor, who’s fees are eligible for the company health plan coverage, and every day I receive a call back to let me know they are not taking new clients. The list of people I would be comfortable with is almost exhausted, so I may begin again at the top of my list, and inquire about waiting lists. There is no point in seeing someone I am not comfortable with.

It is hard work not falling through the widening cracks in Ontario’s health care structure. A recent call to the medical clinic, where I have been on the waiting list for over two years, gave me a bit of a shock. In May, 2016, I was told that I was at the top of the waiting list of 400 people. When I made yet another call to check on things this week, I was told I was way down the list because I had requested to go on the list in June, 2016. NOOOOO Luckily I write things down, so I had the name of the person I talked to every time, and the dates I had called, and a record of what I was told at each call. The list was consulted again, using my dates, and indeed, I was at the top of the waiting list until someone transcribed the list last June and my name was shoved down the list “by mistake”. I am not sure I believe it was a mistake. I have to wonder if there haven’t been new clients accepted at the clinic, over the last two years, who have connections of some kind. If I hadn’t called, we would be so far down on the list that we would not hear from them for years to come, possibly not in my lifetime. They say they are hiring a new doctor and that I should get a call in the new year… I’ve heard this before from them, so I am not holding my breath.

Another health related gap, is that the report from heart specialist appointment last September did not arrive at the walk-in clinic office. The walk-in clinic did not notice the gap, and it took three calls to them to finally talk with a receptionist, who will request the records from the heart specialist. There were recommendations made that I need to follow up. There are other issues my kidneys and gallbladder that were not followed up as promised by the walk-in clinic, so I will have to after them about that too. Walk-in clinics cannot offer any continuity of care, they aren’t really structured that way. No senior citizen should have to live with this kind of fractured health care delivery.

These things tend to run in cycles, in my experience. So hopefully I will be able to address all of the current gaps, and then enjoy a period of rest before the next cluster comes along.

My Sister-The-Middle-Girl let me know last night that my little brother has had two strokes, which left him dragging one of his legs. The doctors had been trying to figure out why his leg was dragging, and a CT scan revealed that he had had two strokes, unnoticed by him. There are no other discernable effects, other than his leg. My siblings and I, we aren’t children anymore, we aren’t young anymore. And yet, when I think of each of them, in my mind they are the beautiful children that I knew in my early years. For me they are forever young.

We picked up the car from the garage last night, and at last I have a vehicle to use during the day. The bill was substantial, not unfairly so, but substantial on our budget. Belts will be tightened accordingly here at Mist Cottage. The car is working well now, ready for Attila’s commute to work, and for visiting our loved ones during this holiday season.

The errands requiring transportation had been accumulating, and I am now able to begin whittling down the list. The first one was to get the Drive Clean test performed on Tank. With that accomplished, I could pay the annual license fees. Because I was waiting as the doors were unlocked, at the garage for the test, and then the MTO office (Ministry of Transportation) for the license renewals, I was first to the wicket at both locations. Within an hour I was back home and taking care of the accompanying task of applying stickers, and filing. Hopefully next week the weather will be nice enough to make a few trips to the city to check off the other items on my list.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

-2°C
Date: 8:04 AM EST Friday 8 December 2017
Condition: Light Snow
Pressure: 101.4 kPa
Tendency: Rising
Temperature: -2.3°C
Dew point: -8.8°C
Humidity: 61%
Wind: W 13 km/h
Wind Chill: -7
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“It is unbecoming for young men [women] to utter maxims.”
Aristotle
384 BC – 322 BC

Wednesday With Wind And Sun

One of my web sites was hacked this morning, at least that is what my security software alerted me to, so that I was able to login to the server and rewrite the compromised files. I sent the information to the hosting company, to see what they can come up with as to how this occurred, and after sending the all the pertinent information, it appears it was a false positive on the part of the security software. I am relieved.

Yesterday morning the telephone rang while I was in the shower. It was during business hours, so it could have been one of many possibilities. No message was left on the answering machine. Yesterday, and today, I worked on calling a list of the possible expected calls. I have not found anyone who called yesterday morning. There is one more possibility, I have left a message on their machine, so hopefully they will get back to me. If it wasn’t them, then I have no more ideas, other than it was a wrong number.

I was chatting with my Sister-The-Youngest-Girl this morning, and one of the things she wondered about was how I thought of things to write on my blog. This is an interesting question. I don’t really think about things to write about on my blog, not until I am writing them. My writing is a part of a dialogue, with the universe, with the force that underlies life, and all that exists. There is a greater entity listening when I write, guiding me, an entity beyond my understanding, an entity at the core of all that is good. I offer up to it what I can, and that is to write, about what I know, and often about what I know I don’t know, which reaches out to infinity.

It is very windy, 60 to 80 km/h range, the clouds scud across the sky. I’ve already bundled up and headed into the back yard to retrieve light items that have been bouncing around the back yard, the wind’s playthings. During a bad storm in the summer, a big purple ball ended up in our back yard. Attila asked around the neighbourhood, thinking to return it to the child who lost it, but no one claimed it. I am amused by it. Every time I look out the window on a windy day, it has moved. Sometimes it moves while I am watching, but most of the time it waits quietly in place to take me by surprise. Today the purple ball is having a ball.

The sun has been playing peek-a-boo all morning. I am glad of the sun today, it feels gentle and friendly as the it lights and warms me.

Snow squalls are possible this afternoon, tonight and at various times over the next week. Wouldn’t you know it, we had planned an evening out! The weather forecast predicts that when the temperature falls below freezing on Friday, it will not rise above it again during the following week.

The Christmas Tree is also a source of pleasure. It is a real tree, which I prefer, as does Attila. The scent of pine is intoxicating, not to mention the visual delight it affords.

The garage where our car is being worked on called this morning, they advised that the rear brakes needed work as well. I asked for an estimate, and with my limited experience in these matters, decided the bill was within reason and approved the work. They called me a second time, before they started the work, to apologize and tell me they had omitted cost of one of the brakes in the estimate, and quoted a new, higher estimate, which was still acceptable. I thanked the fellow for the call, because it was an honest thing to do, and considerate of the garage/customer relationship. The car should be ready to pick up today. When Attila gets home from work he will call them to confirm that the work is done, and if it is, we will pick up the car and pay the bill. Tomorrow I should be able to start ticking chores, that require a vehicle, off my list.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

3°C
Date: 11:17 AM EST Wednesday 6 December 2017
Condition: Light Snowshower
Pressure: 101.0 kPa
Tendency: Rising
Temperature: 2.5°C
Dew point: -5.6°C
Humidity: 55%
Wind: WSW 44 gust 62 km/h
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“Everyone wants to be Cary Grant. Even I want to be Cary Grant.”
Cary Grant
1904 – 1986

Quite a comment on appearances!

Waves

The weather forecast looks like the temperature is going to take a bit of a dive after today. Every time I was out of bed last night, it was raining. It was raining when I got up this morning. It has been raining all day today.

We finally got the car in to the garage on Monday morning. The mechanic is short handed, and the car needs a new rear wheel bearing, which he says is a two man job… so he couldn’t do it. We took the car in to another local garage this afternoon, and hopefully we will have it back by tomorrow evening. I have been without transportation for the last few weeks, and the chores are piling up and squeezing me, so I will be very glad to get the car operating again. There is no public transport here, except taxis.

Finding counselling is proving to be extremely difficult. The people I’ve contacted so far are not seeing anyone new. Our options are extremely limited, and it has to be the person who is right for us, or it isn’t worth doing. I continue to make calls, fail, and try again. Some days I refuse to think about it though, just to give myself a break.

Yesterday was a busy day, I did a lot of work on a few projects, and even had the sewing machine out for most of the day. Here alone during the day, time flows slow and steady and sweet.

Music. It is keeping me real, real and balanced, for at least part of the day.

The me I know floats and slides along the sound waves, insisting, insisting… that the world is much more than the growing smallness. The swell throws open the windows, the doors; an unseeable force.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

10°C
Date: 3:00 PM EST Tuesday 5 December 2017
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 100.6 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: 9.6°C
Dew point: 6.7°C
Humidity: 83%
Wind: S 32 gust 46 km/h
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“One should count each day a separate life.”
Seneca
5 BC – 65 AD