Garage Door

Now that the new windows are installed, and the furniture has been rearranged, I am moving on to organize all the stuff that was stored in the furniture. This is a job of monumental proportions, in terms of my time, and the challenge to find a place for everything I want to keep.

Attila is spending a lot of time getting the basement organized, in preparation for the upcoming garage roof project.

It is Good Friday, a statutory holiday in Ontario, which means there are three consecutive days to work on these projects, where I can make changes that involve heavy lifting, because Attila will help with that if called upon. My first project for the weekend is to apply adhesive backed window film to the window panes of the garage door window. The door is question is the “man door” into the garage, not the big garage door, the windows in it are painted over and let no light in. I have wanted to do this since 2010, when Mist Cottage was purchased! First though, the glass and the door must be cleaned, and THAT is a daunting task, it is one very filthy door!

Attila is cooking a turkey dinner today, which we will both enjoy. On the weekends his cooking efforts are usually focused on foods I cannot or will not eat. So a weekend turkey dinner is a treat from my point of view, because I will be eating it too.

I continue to do the cooking during the week, a light task, as it turns out. After moving out on my own as a teenager, and until I met Attila, I did all the food preparation. Planning and preparing meals is a familiar and pleasant part of the day.

It has been raining for the last few days, and the temperature has risen above freezing each day; the result is that the landscape is tinged with a hint of green. The birds are plentiful, as our trees offer shelter for those displaced by the destruction of the wetland forest at the end of the street. Since the new windows were installed, I have to step out of doors to hear the birds singing! At least, I will have to step out of doors to hear the concert, until the warm weather arrives and the windows can be opened.

My knee and my back have been rather troublesome the last few weeks, which meant that last week I did not attend Tai Chi. The week before last I stayed home while the new windows were being installed. That is quite a long break from Tai Chi. This learning process is going slowly. But that is what suits me, to attend when I can, and not worry about it when something else comes up. Ideally Tai Chi was to be something I could attend and participate in whenever it suited me. I used to watch groups of people doing Tai Chi together on Saturday mornings in the local parks, and always wished back then, that I had time for such things. I am a long way from achieving that goal, as I am a shockingly slow learner. I am surprised by how slow I am to pick this up, as I used to be quite athletic in my youth, and picked things up quickly. Apparently that skill has rusted a bit from disuse.

I have been using my elliptical machine though, as I can manage it without having to overcome much in the way of inertia. I watch half hour sitcom episodes while I walk on the elliptical machine, the time passes more easily that way. My favourite form of recreation is going for walks, and soon the weather will be perfect for it.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

7°C
Date: 1:00 PM EDT Friday 30 March 2018
Condition: Mostly Cloudy
Pressure: 101.3 kPa
Tendency: Rising
Temperature: 7.3°C
Dew point: 2.0°C
Humidity: 69%
Wind: NW 23 gust 33 km/h
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.”
Mark Twain
1835 – 1910

LOL, no danger here! No offers.

My Favourite Martian

It was a very busy week! The last of my “run about” activities was accomplished today, an appointment at the bank. Next week will be very busy as well, more banking to take care of, the insulation installation will take place, and I’ll be attending Tai Chi class and meditation classes as well.

While using the elliptical machine, it works well to watch videos on the computer. The Amazon Prime account comes with access to limited programming, and one of the programs currently available are reruns of My Favorite Martian (1964). I have begun to watch an episode each time I spend time on the machine. I enjoy this sitcom, even though it is packed with isms that were acceptable at the time that it was produced. The Martian perspective on life on earth just made so much sense!

In episode three, Tim is making Uncle Martin a cup of tea. The kettle on his range is exactly the same as the one here at Mist Cottage. A good design that has lasted over 50 years!

The weather was lovely today, billowing clouds floating across the sky, lovely sunshine, and melting snow. I don’t really know where the day went. It passed pleasantly enough as I worked on the web site design, and enjoyed a few hours crocheting my afghan/blanket. I think I napped with that warm blanket in my lap, but am not entirely sure about that!

Worldly Distractions

Weather

-4°C
Date: 9:00 PM EST Friday 16 February 2018
Condition: Clear
Pressure: 102.2 kPa
Tendency: Rising
Temperature: -4.3°C
Dew point: -13.0°C
Humidity: 51%
Wind: W 10 km/h
Wind Chill: -9
Visibility: 24 km

Quote

“The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp.”
John Berry

Contractors

Life just seems to get more and more complicated as time goes by! Or am I just more aware of the complexity now? Who knows!

I have committed resources to replacing the windows in the house, upgrading to energy efficient windows, installed properly. I have also committed resources to upgrading the attic insulation, to R50, it is currently R10. These changes will likely make a dent in the heating and cooling bills, and make the house less drafty. We are giving a pass on the basement insulation, it got too complicated, too many things to move out into a storage locker, and we aren’t quite sure what we will want to do down there once the dust has settled after the garage is functional. Best to wait, we decided. Renovation decisions are still joint decisions, we both have an interest in Mist Cottage.

It is snowing this morning. Luckily I have no “away” activities planned for today, so I won’t be stepping out the door, or behind the wheel. The morning has been busy, confirming contractor contract details, dealing with administrative correspondence, filing, and odd jobs of that nature. Today I am hoping to finally complete the first draft of the web site I have been upgrading, it has been a lot of work, but I think the results are worth the time spent. I will be practising Tai Chi, and spending time on my elliptical machine as well; it seems I have to list these two activities to convince myself that they need to be done!

Right now all the changes in my life are just painful, intimidating, and exhausting, as I continue to cycle through all the stages of grief, in no particular order or duration. I am thinking that eventually all this change will seem a bit exciting. That is in the long term. One foot in front of the other!

Worldly Distractions

Weather

SPECIAL WEATHER STATEMENT IN EFFECT
Snowfall of 5 to 15 cm today.
Snow is expected to begin this morning across much of Central and Eastern Ontario. General snowfall amounts of around 5 to 10 cm are likely, however areas close to Lake Ontario and the St. Lawrence River may see as much as 10 to 15 cm. The snow will taper off late in the afternoon or early evening.
This snowfall will likely have a significant impact on the afternoon commute. Motorists are urged to exercise caution.

-8°C
Date: 9:00 AM EST Wednesday 7 February 2018
Condition: Light Snow
Pressure: 102.6 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: -8.0°C
Dew point: -9.6°C
Humidity: 88%
Wind: E 16 km/h
Wind Chill: -15
Visibility: 1 km

Quote

“But pain… seems to me an insufficient reason not to embrace life. Being dead is quite painless. Pain, like time, is going to come on regardless. Question is, what glorious moments can you win from life in addition to the pain?”
Lois McMaster Bujold

Percy

I never met a Percy I didn’t like. It isn’t a common name, but I do meet men who answer to it from time to time. My most significant Percy is my Great Uncle, my Grandpa’s brother. I don’t think I ever heard him speak a whole sentence, and yet his presence was strong, and delightful. There was always a twinkle in his eye, as he greeted our visits to his farm, when I was a child. His wife, my Great Aunt Goldie, would always have a freshly baked batch of Chelsea Buns to offer us, when we visited. I have no great insights into the day to day challenges they faced in their lives, but I do know that I was always welcome there, I always felt as if I belonged. I never questioned that feeling of belonging back then, in my Mom’s family, it was like oxygen, it was just there. I didn’t work for it. I didn’t have to manufacture it. It existed naturally from the way people lived. I miss that in this big shiny ugly edifice of a world we live in, or maybe I just miss being a child in a world protected by my Mom.

A quiet day here. Talk continues, communication takes place, no further decisions or action are on the table, tension levels are low. The incredible cold has slunk off outside the windows, and the temperature has risen to -9, it has been snowing off and on since noon.

I slept soundly for six hours again last night, to my great relief, and also managed 25 minutes on the elliptical machine. Meals are regular, no indulgences indulged in, routines are forming, day by day. My crocheting continues to be a source of peace, I do enjoy it, and right now there is a gentleness in the repetitive nature of the stitches.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

-28°C
Date: 6:00 AM EST Sunday 7 January 2018
Condition:Clear
Pressure: 103.5 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: -28.3°C
Dew point: -31.5°C
Humidity: 75%
Wind: NNE 5 km/h
Wind Chill: -34
Visibility: 24 km

The temperature will increase by 22C over the course of less than eight hours.

Quote

“Holding forgiveness hostage to some act or condition was associated with psychological distress and depression.”
– in a study published by National Institute of Health in 2011

The List

Another day has dawned.

I am sleeping four consecutive hours at night, and dozing off occasionally after that, until I get tired of thinking and hurting, so I get up. This morning I arose at 4:30 a.m., having been awake for quite some time. Sleep is the real challenge right now. The nausea has subsided, and I can eat small meals. I try to focus on eating vegetables, as it is all to easy to just eat bread and peanut butter, or cheese and crackers, which are acceptable, but certainly don’t represent a healthy diet. I keep a beverage beside me at all times, sipping frequently, as it would be very easy to become dehydrated right now, I cry so much. These are the basics I am attempting to establish right now.

Yesterday I was able to stabilize myself enough to spend 25 minutes on the elliptical machine, the first exercise I have had since December 29th, 2017. Hopefully I can get back into doing this regularly. I am starting to think again about food, planning meals for myself. I am very glad to have these kinds of thoughts coming into my head!

It is snowing heavily today, the cold snap has abated, for a few days, to return at the end of the week. With the warmer weather comes the white fluffy stuff from the sky. I anticipate shovelling snow this afternoon.

The day looms ahead of me. I am keeping a list of obvious things to do, because my emotional state is still all over the place, and I find myself in pain, and at a loss as to what to do next. Picking something from the list alleviates a lot of distress for me, allowing me not to think, and right now thinking is not always my friend. The list is a solid, reliable thing, that gives me logical choices. I write the list in my brief moments of clarity. Today might include picking up a prescription, and printing some required files, that sort of thing.

Vegetable soup was on my list, so that is how the morning will be spent. When making vegetable soup, I add the basic ingredients for the recipe, and then continue to add more vegetables until the soup pot is almost full. Then it simmers on the lowest temperature on the range, all day long. A batch of chocolate cherry muffins has been baked, and sits cooling on the kitchen counter. Now I have food to tempt me into eating, which right now, is a very good thing.………

I just looked a an old photograph, from the 30s or 40s, in Ontario, Canada, of a woman in a flowered dress, her hair caught up in a bun, standing on the weathered boards of a covered porch, hanging laundry out to dry on a line to the porch. This photograph, particularly the weathered boards of the deck of the porch, elicited in me a deep feeling of contentment, of rightness in the world, of love for the simple functional elements of daily life in times gone by. My Granny and Grandpa’s front porch had similar decking, and oh what heaven it would be, to sit on a worn wooden chair there again with Granny sitting beside me, shelling garden peas.

Worldly Distractions

Weather

-6°C
Date: 7:00 AM EST Wednesday 3 January 2018
Condition: Light Snow
Pressure: 102.0 kPa
Tendency: Falling
Temperature: -6.2°C
Dew point: -9.2°C
Humidity: 79%
Wind: SW 34 gust 54 km/h
Wind Chill: -15
Visibility: 5 km

Quote

“The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.”
Edwin Schlossberg

I like this quote, not so much in the medium of my own writing, but more in my pleasure in reading the writing of others.