In just one week…

In just one week, this week will be over.  Obvious isn’t it.  And oddly comforting as I face a week in a workplace filled with severe mood swings and roller coaster demands and criticisms.  Just how often I’ll be able to write something speakable in my journal remains to be seen.  However, a week from Monday I plan on getting back into my own life and out of survival mode!  In just one week, this week will be over. A quiet day here, lovely!  Attila is keeping the house warm and toasty, despite the -17C temperature at night.  The bedrooms are cool and extremely comfortable for sleeping under the eiderdown. Mist is very contented, sleeping curled in her wicker basket beside the masonry heater.  Occasionally she wanders over to sit in my lap, or Attila’s lap.  Then over to her food bowl for a little snack before she returns to the hard work of napping in her basket. Attila prepared a pork rib roast for dinner, with roast potatoes, carrots, onions and squash.  Delicious!  My cooking effort of the day went into making dough for three pizza’s; the dough is prepared in my Bosch mixer, left to rise, punched down … Continue reading

Decorative Totem

Next week I am scheduled to work with the “negative coworker”, every morning for five days running.  I thought I was doing very well, putting all thoughts of the impending experience aside.  However, my body has quietly and firmly informed me that this is a foolish and ineffective tactic.  My stomach pain has been building over the last few days; a gut feeling if there ever was one.  Yesterday I broke down and started taking the stomach medication my doctor prescribed for me, to be used when needed.  It is now needed.  I’ll continue with the medication for the next week and continue into the following week, when relief from negativity will do its magic and my stomach will stop sending out the alarm. Everything in my being shouts “get out” when it comes to dealing with this workplace situation. And I am listening to the call. Universe, if you do tend towards balance, there is a little issue over in this corner that needs some attention! I am doing everything I can think of to assist you Universe. One of the positive things I picked up, during my December attendance at a program for older wanna-be workers, was an … Continue reading

Uncluttered

Black and white and grey out there this morning, with intermittent heavy snowfall. A list of what is bright and shiny around here: success in downloading library books to the Kobo! success in gaining access to a respectable reference library via the Internet while reading my Kobo I can pace the house, much needed exercise in isolation bills are paid to date, although more whoppers on the way talked to Terra about the wonderful meals she has been preparing heard from Harriet, who is on the beach in Florida this week applied for five jobs yesterday, without angst over results reduced desk clutter and may have desk cleared by the end of the day stood at the window in the sun yesterday, soaking it up More to come! What an exciting life I lead; suits me, it does. Since I’m working near the country house next week, Attila and I will not be able to get to our little house in the city until later in January.  Already we have a great pile of clean towels and household objects to transport on our next visit.  We will also bring along some of the flooring given to us by Harriet and … Continue reading

Memory

Memory, a tricky subject. Science and medicine know some things about human brains. After reading a half dozen scientific papers about memory, I’m not convinced that, through the parameters of science, we know all that much. Memory has always been a source of fascination. I am a very lucky woman, I have and still do interact with some very brilliant and exceptional minds. From my perspective, each of these minds is/was unique; unique in the way that they approach/approached input, process and output. As far as I’m concerned there is no one kind of genius. As for myself, my own memory is like a quirky, impish and fiecely loyal friend. Deep in my mind decisions, based on that stored material, are made. Decisions that guide me, decisions that do not reach consciousness. How do I know that those unconscious decisions exist? Usually I become aware of them as my thoughts and behaviors form patterns. Sometimes, when environmental conditions are conducive, I can actually catch glimpses of that deep place that is the foundation of my existence. The book I am currently reading is all about memory, science and what science does not know. Dementia is one of the larger themes … Continue reading

Preaching to the Converted

I’ve been writing in this journal for over a decade now. I’ve presented myself honestly; although not entirely, given the broad nature of the media. I’ve always felt stranded on a small psychic island, with a few special people, in a sea of mediocrity and denial. My recurring childhood nightmare was one where particular familiar people physically transformed into horrifying blobby creatures, as they began to deny obvious truths, adopted falseness and attempted to enforce social wrongs. My first Sunday School teacher comes to mind immediately. What makes my fellow islanders special is only that they are themselves, fully human, flawed, beautiful; they see me, I see them. My “whole hearted” list is a source of pure joy. You know who you are, and if you think you are on my list, or would be if we met, then you must be. I hope I am on your list. I choose this journal to express what I know about being human. This lecture is interesting, as Ms. Brown uses an academic approach, one I am well familiar with, to describe the very simple concept of being human.